Author Archives: Ian

About Ian

Ian is a techy-artist and researcher at CM. An early 30yr old graphic designer by trade and a blogger who has been writing online for over eight great years on all things he's passionate about, including sexual health and social justice. He is developing a code to crack the matrix of condom sizes and styles.

Condom Sizes

Using a condom could be one of the most sensible decisions of your life, saving you from STI’s, disease and unwanted pregnancy. However, without looking at the correct sizes, your efforts could prove useless. The wrong size condom will malfunction.

Well, I guess you know that already and that is why you are here looking for your condom size! So let’s get on with it.


Why do condoms get a bad rap?You need to measure your penis first. Not many condoms companies make their exact measurements available so you need to do some internet research.  Our Condom Size Calculator is a great place to start as it allows you to search over 100 condoms at once. When you know your penis size it makes the shopping process of much faster.

To measure your penis you need the length and girth, and head circumference can also help for some men, but is not always necessary.

  • First of all, your penis needs to be erect.
  • The length should be measured from the point where your penis meets the bottom of your pelvis (the base) to the very end point of the head. You want the condom to be able to reach right to your base where your public bone starts (No need to stretch over and above the pubic hair!)
  • To measure your girth you should get a piece of string or a measuring tape and measure the circumference around the thickest part of your penis along the shaft- usually the mid-point.
  • The same can be done with string or a measuring tape at the thickest part of the head of your penis (if the girth seems significantly different from the shaft).
  • Many condoms simply come in small, medium or large.  It varies from brand to brand, but generally

Small size is 1.60 – 1.9 inches wide at the base (condom laying flat) and 6.7- 7.0 inches long.

Medium size is 2.0- 2.2 inches wide and 7.2 – 7.7 inches long.

Large size is approximately 2.2 – 2.3 inches wide and 7.8 – 8 inches long.

Our general rule of fitting is, if you measure less than 4.8 inches (122mm) in girth, go with a snugger fit.  If you are wider than 5.15 inches (130mm), select Large or XL. See our Table Guide converting penis circumference to condom width.

  • Because condom girth is general reported as the base width- which is measured by the condom laying flat- it can be confusing to translate an exact width that fits your penis girth. As a general guide, we recommend you divide your penis circumference by 2.25.

Why 2.25?

You may be wondering how we got this number.  A study by Gerofi et. al. found that the condom circumference should stretch about 10% to 20% the penis girth (see Condom Sizes and Facts for further details about the analysis). Dividing by 2.25 represents a 12.5% a condom stretch, which is within the recommended ratio. It is an approximation and your preferences may vary, as well as the condom brand’s elasticity. It is important to stay within the ratio.  A common malfunction is the condom slipping off because the condom is too loose. So it is crucial to be aware of how a condom correctly fits.


Now with your measurements you can find the correct range of condoms.

You want a condom to fit snugly but not create uncomfortable pressure. Also it should not be baggy anywhere as looseness could cause slippage and rubbing during intercourse that will break the condom.

There needs to be enough extra room to allow a reservoir tip at the head of the condom that hangs with no air inside.  Consider this the sperm pocket.  There should be enough material so that you can pinch the tip comfortably with your thumb and index finger.

The condom should unroll all the way down to the base close to where your pubic hair starts. Try not to catch hair inside.  It might pull and pinch!

To help you find correct condom sizes we organized sizes charts based on major brands.  Here are our Trojan Condom Size Chart and LifeStyles Condom Size ChartDurex Condom Size Chart, Kimono Size Chart, and Beyond Seven Size Chart.

Alternatively, you can read more about condom sizing here and review our fitting solutions chart which suggests specific condoms that are designed to cater for specific needs and solve discomforts such as too tight, too loose, too short, too long.  You might also want to see our guide to different condom shapes.

Funny Condom Video: What Goes On With Toilet Graffiti?

I’m sure you have all been into bathrooms sporting a variety of obscene, funny and philosophical graffiti. But what exactly goes on when we turn our backs and leave the bathroom?

Well, according to this ad, even graffiti needs protection if it wants to get a look in!

This is quite funny.  We would love to know your thoughts!

We must warn the video is fairly explicit with cartoon depiction’s of intercourse!

This is the first of what will hopefully be a weekly series with a new funny condom video being featured each and every week.

Welcome to The Condom Monologues

Please source us if you use our content or contact us to get proper permission.  We work hard here, so Thanks man.

Please source us if you use our content or contact us to get proper permission. We work hard here, so Thanks man.

Most of us have heard of It: That little ravel sheath accompanying our sexual worlds, be it through porn, public restrooms, corner stores, park benches, orgasms (or lack thereof), the health clinic, or sex ed. class- whatever encounter you can think of.
Welcome to Condom Monologues: A censor-free, non-judgmental collective focused on the condom, and the social or personal topics it surrounds. The title was inspired by Eve Ensler’s play, Vagina Monologues, hoping to arouse a continuous discussion about female sexuality and empowerment. Only here we insert The Condom with a more inclusive gender and sexuality format.
Such is the reoccurring theme: The condom as a cultural object, morphs across social and political spheres with its own histories and statuses. Condom Monologues is a place to converge and discuss the experiences we have with this object. Not only to share something funny, sexy, or serious, but also to set up a more collective way to distinguish a brand in the condom market among varying opinions and needs. Post a story, an opinion, a question. Let the unraveling begin!

Pope approves use of condoms

Pope approves use of condoms This week Pope Benedict approved the use of condoms.

The news comes from a book that will be published by the Vatican in the coming week and has a face to face interview (the first) with the current Pope. He talks about a few interesting things but particularly the stance on condoms is something that many liberal Catholics have been pushing for for years.

The view that contraception of any kind to stop the creation of life however is still held but the relaxation towards the use of condoms has come for the reason of using a condom in the case of fighting HIV. He said that in some cases it is now acceptable and some believe this is to help try and spread responsible condom use throughout Africa where HIV is possibly at it’s highest although he made it clear that abstinence is the best policy.

Pope approves use of condoms, what we think?

Obviously the fact that the Vatican still disapproves of condoms at all in this modern world astounds us but of course any relaxation is welcomed and maybe this is signalling a general change in the right direction. Many liberal Catholics already openly use birth control for controlling birth and hopefully the movement will lead the Catholic church to eventually adjust it’s whole ideology regarding these matters.

I personally feel that too many children are born in the world as it is and if the condom can really help stop just a few more orphans from growing up in terrible unloved surroundings then how can it be responsible to condemn the condom. The Catholic church has effectively told people to stop having sex to slow spread of disease and unwanted child births but people obviously are not listening in areas where it is most needed so they have to change their stance eventually.

I would love to know what your thoughts on this story are?

Cheeky London Sperm Bank Rebrand…. A Great Step Forward…

We concentrate a lot of stopping sperm from reaching the egg here at CM (Condom Monologues 😉 ) but for many, getting a sperm to fertilize an egg is their main priority. Sperm donation is a very important service and it helps many people.

So I thought it would be cool to take a quick peak at London Sperm Bank’s modern but cheeky new branding.

This new branding is an excellent step forward in my eyes and will really help to pull away sperm donation in London from being a taboo subject or a subject of complete mockery. By showing a small sense of humor, but keeping a modern look, they are addressing the funny side of things and showing people a friendly public face.

I learned about this new design from The Drum and I think Silk Pierce have done stellar Job.

If you have a few spare sperms floating around why not put them to a good cause…. Visit the London Sperm Bank Website.

What do you think about this? Is it a good re-design? Does it change anything? Also what do you think about sperm donations?

What Happens When You Fill A Condom With Dry Ice!

We don’t concentrate on the laughter condoms can bring us here on Condom Monologues as much as we should, but maybe it’s about time to share this stupid humor…

I must admit it has never ever crossed my mind to fill a condom with dry ice. Luckily for those of you who have pondered such a thing someone else has gone out and actually done it!

Enjoy this video and let us know what you thought? Also what else would you like to see a condom filled with? I think Liquid Nitrogen would be really cool 😉

Top Reasons to Wear a Condom

Here at Condom Monologues we would always recommend that you wear a condom. Obviously the top reasons to wear a condom are to protect you against STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Infections) and unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are the only safe sex option that protects against both.

However there are a ton of other great reasons to slip on a Johnny before sex. If you’ve had any doubt about using a condom we sincerely hope that these Top Reasons to Wear a Condom will sway your mind…

  1. Trying all the different types of condoms available to you is a fun and exciting task. It can actually spice up your sex life!
  2. Some condoms can actually make sex last longer by slightly reducing sensitivity for guys- Trojan “extended pleasure”.
  3. Many condoms have novelties such as glow in the dark or exotic flavors.
  4. As pregnancy is highly unlikely whilst using a condom you are free to enjoy the sexual experience with no worries.
  5. Condoms make making love a clean ordeal, so often more enjoyable. Your ejaculation is stored neatly in the head of the condom and can be just thrown away.
  6. Intimacy can be increased as having a condom shows your partner that you are sensible and therefore more trustworthy.
  7. Condoms have almost 0 side effects compared with some other contraceptives. That is unless you are allergic to latex but there are options available for you too!
  8. Condoms are often cheaper than other forms of contraception and can be found almost anywhere.
  9. The morning after pill is unlikely to ever be needed and this reduces stress.

I hope you enjoyed these top reasons to wear a condom, any questions at all please leave a comment or contact us direct.

Vibrating Penis Ring


Undercover Condoms Deal of the Month: 15% off V-Spot Vibrating Condom Ring 5-Pack

We don’t normally write about toys on this blog but you may have noticed a Vibrating penis Ring whilst browsing the condoms at your local store and been a little unsure as to if you should try one.

Well the obvious answer to that is “Why Not? But of course you may want to know a little more info about it before parting with your hard earned cash.

The concept is very simple. A vibrating penis ring is a disposable plastic ring that fits over your penis and holds a small battery. When you turn the little blighter on it starts vibrating and can give both you and your partner an extra special orgasm during sexual intercourse or even foreplay.

Simple but highly effective and some couple report that it’s an absolute scream!

As always we recommend that you buy all of your condoms and love making supplies online. You can get the best prices and things will be delivered securely and discreetly. We recommedn Undercover Condoms and luckily for the month of September (2009) they are having a promotion of their V-Spot Vibrating Penis Ring 5 Parks. Just click the link below and you can get 15% off. Awesome deal and well worth trying!

Undercover Condoms Deal of the Month:

15% off V-Spot Vibrating Condom Ring 5-Pack

Please drop a comment and let us know how much you and your partner enjoyed using them.

Non Latex Condoms

What are non latex condoms? Where can I buy non latex condoms?

Update: We now have a more current article on this subject.  Check out our post Non-Latex Condom Options. And try our Condom Calculator to see all the non-latex condom sizes available.

Most condoms available on the market today are made from a rubber derived substance called latex. Latex is extremely flexible and can be very strong even when made extremely thin. So it was the absolute perfect choice for manufacturers to use for condoms.

However just like everything, some people are allergic to latex.  If this is the case, then sexual interaction can be very unpleasant for the partner allergic to this the latex.

Luckily many trusted manufactures have come up with some alternative non latex condoms. If you are female or male and allergic to latex or maybe just do not like the feel of latex, than I highly suggest that you carry some non-latex around with you.

Are non-latex condoms as safe as latex condoms?

In short, yes.  However, some studies report that non latex condoms are more likely to break and slip off. The NHS did a short report on this and it can be found here.

I personally have not tried non-latex condoms but do plan to do so. Most major brands have an option.  LifeStyles seems to offer the most variety. You should be able to get them from your local pharmacy but I always suggest that you buy online. We recommend Undercover Condoms.

Here are some of the non latex options available.

Durex Avanti Bare
$6.95/ 6-Pack
Trojan SUPRA Lubricated
$1.95 / 1-Pack
11 Ratings
Lifestyles Skyn Non-Latex Condom
$9.95 / 12-Pack
9 Ratings
Trojan Natural Lamb Lubricated
$8.95 / 3-Pack
92 Ratings
Variety Non-Latex Sampler
$7.95 / 3-Pack

Put On a Condom…

How Do I Put On a Condom?” is one of the most common questions asked by young men and women. It’s very important that you learn and know how to properly put on a condom so that you get the maximum protection and pleasure.

The procedure is very simple and once you have done it a few times it will be second nature. I would advise guys and gals to practice alone.  It will alleviate any stress or worry about being embarrassed in the crucial moment.

A condom is an amazing thing but is also delicate. So be careful to store the condom where it cannot be pierced. Make sure it is not past it’s expiry date. When opening, be careful to not rip through the condom.  For these reasons always carry a spare or two!

It’s also worth knowing that some types of lubricant can damage latex condoms so only use lubricants that are water or silicon based. KY and Astroglide are perfect. Oil-based lubricants such as butter, vegetable oils or petroleum jelly often damage latex and will make a condom ineffective.

How to Put on a Condom

Every package of condoms is supplied with detailed instructions for care and use. Always read these and always check the expiry date. Never use condoms that are past their expiry date.

1. Put the condom on before your penis touches your partner’s vagina or anus. Fluid (pre cum) can be excreted before and after you ejaculate. This fluid could potentially pass on sexually transmitted infections and could cause pregnancy.

2. Never ever use a condom more than one time. Always use a new one from the packet for each time you get erect and peach time you ejaculate. It is always worth having more condoms than you think you need…. some nights end up that way :)!

3. An average condom is rolled into a ring shape. They are sealed in plastic or foil. Do not tear the condom whilst removing from it’s wrapper. If it is brittle, torn, or there is no air in the package, throw it away and start fresh with a new one.

4. Before you start to put your condom on, squeeze a few drops of lubricant inside the condom (some condoms may be sufficiently lubricated).

5. If you are uncircumcised, pull back the foreskin before starting to roll on the condom.  Always apply a condom with a full erection.

6. Place the rolled condom over the tip of your hard penis and begin to roll down the shaft with one hand.

7. Leave approximately half an inch of space (a pinch between two fingers) with no air inside the reservoir tip to collect your semen.

8. Gently pinch the air out of the tip with one hand.

9. Unroll the condom over your penis with the your other hand.

10. Roll it all the way down to the base of your penis.

11. Smooth out any air bubbles. (Friction against air bubbles can cause condom breaks.)

12. Lubricate the outside of the condom (some condoms may be sufficiently lubricated, see individual instructions).

Here are some great step by step illustrations from Scarleteen. 

You may want to direct your partner to these instructions. Putting on a condom can be integrated into foreplay and can be something that your partner can do for you.  Check out our post Condoms Make Me Horny! for tips and ideas.

It’s also advised to watch the video below so that you can see visually how to put a condom on.