The Condom Monologues

Love ‘em! This must be one of my favorite condoms. Never breaks. Never slips. And funny enough, according to the Durex website, these are the same size as Durex’s XXL! Oh the strange world of marketing. Which reminds me, Durex also felt the need to give a little gift in each of Love packaging, like a cereal box toy: It’s a stick-on tattoo of a mischievous devil that seems to be impersonating Cupid. Is this suppose to intice kinkiness? I think it’s a lame attempt of “interactive” marketing. Personally, I’ve never found the need for this. Fetishes can be found outside the box. Does anyone disagree?
Anyway, this condom has a minimal oder of latex, it’s smooth and very elastic, making it easy to roll on, and its sensitivity is great- very comparable to any “Ultra Sensitive” brand.

Okay, I admit it.  I was lured by its original tin casing and flashy print designs.  Each new (circular not square) wrapper is crafted and submitted into a contest and then voted by consumers.  Imagine primary school art teachers incorporating this competition into their curriculum!  I also liked the fact that this condom company donates 5% of its sales to the ONE Voice Foundation, a sex education and health group.  But be warned by the hype:  A circular condom wrapper does not necessarily make it easier to open.  More importantly, this condom broke on me (or in me, I should say), despite the company priding itself on using “leading-edge manufacturing tecnhnology”, with it’s trade mark ingrediant, Sensatex (the same company that helped invent Spray On Condoms- more about that in another post).  Yes, these condoms are sheer and smooth.  But ”Super Sensitive”?  Personally, I find them no more sensitive then a regular Durex or Lifestyles.  More over, lubricant is especially necessary for these condoms.  Otherwise you risk uncomfortability and malfunction.      

Not long ago I wrote a review of this new condom line, commenting on its unique, yet limited accessibilty.  Then I met a woman who worked at Planned Parenthood.  She carried with her a sheer sachet containing all four Proper Attire ware:  “Dots”, “Color”, “Basic” and “XL”.  She kindly handed me the yellow polka dotted pack, Proper Attire’s studded version.  This is my review:  It’s a decent condom.  Though I’ve only tried it once, ”Dots” was slick and easy to roll onto my partner.  I typically find studded condoms to be rough, like a Guiro-Scrapper; or completely unnoticable.  But the studded bumps on this condom were pleasantly mild (although the woman from Planned Parenthood admitted that she did not feel the studds…to each their own, right?).  And just to clear up any confusion, it’s not the latex that is fashioned with polka dots or funcky colors; rather, the condom itself is transparent in color.  Another plus:  Both the material and lubricant smells are faint.  If you have $6.00 to spend on a 3-pack of condoms, or are lucky to get some for free from a friend, give these a try.         

Lifestyles’ Ultra Sensitive latex condom is almost identical to Trojan’s Ultra Thin condom: They both contain a water-based lubricant; they both share the same shaft-width (2in); thickness is only microscopically different (Lifestyle Ultra Sensitive being thicker by .0004 in.); and their lengths are slightly off (Lifestyles is 7.5 inches long. Trojan Ultra Thin is 7.0in). Despite similarity, Ultra Sensitive felt smoother and was consistently easy to put on.  Its elasticity worked well.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say that these feel unapparent or weightless, but they are not a rubbery hindrance either. These condoms are nothing exceptional.  But if one is looking for sensitivity, I think these are a fair bet.

(13 votes, average: 4.31 out of 10)

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Trojan flags this condom as its “thinnest” one ever, with a thickness of .0020 inches. Looking at other reviews, many said that this condom breaks. I never experienced this. However, I did find this condom to be rough and dry, despite the water-based lube.  “Thinnest” does not denote sensitivity. It felt like a rubber dildo.  The ring was stiff, with little elasticity.  Ultra Thin was hard to roll onto my partner.  Each time we had to pause and fight with it to get the ring down to his base. Strange, considering that the condom is a standard 7inches in length with 2in width.

Natural feeling….well, whatever “natural” means. But this condom definitely is thin. As thin as physics may allow, Natural Feeling is perhaps one of the most sensitive condoms I’ve ever felt (it would be interesting to compare “Natural Feeling” to Lifestyles’ “Ultra Thin” brand). Yet, there isn’t much else unique about it. Transparent in color with a reservoir tip. The lubricant is sheer and smooth. The latex smell is there, yet not offensively stinky. However, I did find these condoms to fit a little short and tight on my partner than most other condoms. Despite size, I feel this condom is a simple, safe choice… and satisfying, “naturally”.

With a “climax control lubricant”? More like a pleasure prevention lube. As far as extending pleasure, yes, it did prevent my partner from cumming early and at all! The Trojan, Extended Pleasure condom is smelly, sticky and wet. So wet, that when you peel it out of its wrapping, the lubricant drips everywhere. Be careful what you touch after handling. Its overpowering, sour smell tends to linger. And to top it off, 3 out of the 7 times I’ve used it this condom failed. Once it numbed my partner so much that he lost all springing spunk. Second time it leaked. Then another, it broke! If the appeal is to postpone male orgasm the thing better be able to withstand long durations.

True to its slogan, “Like a second skin,” this condom does feels like “the real thing” (or thingie). The LifeStlyes “True-Fit” condom (not to be confused with “Snugger Fit”) rolled smoothly and quickly on my partner. Snugly on him not only ensures me that it won’t slip, leak, or burst; but as I experienced, there was also no rubbery, irritating friction. The sensitivity was there. And its low latex scent formula really makes this condom all the more appealing.