Category: Sex positive

  • More Condoms In Pop: The need to popularize safer sex

    More Condoms In Pop: The need to popularize safer sex

    condoms need to be popularizedA recent study by researchers at Stanford Medical School reveals that a large portion of young women are irresponsible in bed, meaning they ain’t protecting themselves.  The year-long study collected data from 1,194 sexually active females aged 15 to 24 who visited Planned Parenthood clinics and were beginning contraceptive pills, patches, injections, or vaginal rings for the first time.  At the beginning of the study, only 36 percent of participants consistently used the “dual method” (relying on both hormonal contraceptives and the condom), which meant that STI and STD protection was compromised.  Getting pregnant seems to be the only risk to care about.

    Surprised?  To be honest, I wasn’t either as I know many friends whose first time using birth control was when they entered a relationship with someone they trust, and that trust included believing (hopefully, with medical proof) that neither person carried STIs.

    However, it gets worse: The study found that over 50 percent of young women did not resume condom use after they discontinued hormonal contraceptives.  That’s right, NO protection!

    Less Youth are Using Condoms

    Why is this happening?  And how can prevention improve?  According to Rachel Goldstein M.D., lead author of the study, the most influential factor of condom usage is the partner’s attitude toward condoms.  When a woman did not know how her partner felt about condoms or knew that he felt they were “very important”, she was more likely to be a dual method user than when her partner thought condoms were “not at all important”.  The researchers speculate that power imbalances within the relationship impact the woman’s ability to negotiate condom use. “It appears that her partner’s feelings may be more important than her perceived risk of a sexually transmitted infection or her own beliefs about dual method use,” said Goldstein.  This is an important point of concern.  There are many factors, including levels of mutual respect, emotional maturity, and self-esteem that need to be considered when counseling youth about healthy sex (Scarleteen offers great advice on negotiating condom use).  Of course, the study concludes that more counseling is needed to accompany hormonal contraceptive treatment that emphasizes the risks of STIs and STDs.

    However, I think this is only one piece in the very complicated puzzle of sexual relations.  Plus, the research does not address why young women are not resuming condom use after discontinuing hormonal medication.

    In fact, condoms are not very popular among young adults in general.  According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, the rate of STIs in people 15-24 years old is exceptionally high.  Two-thirds of all individuals who become infected with STIs in the United States are younger than 25 years old!  The reason for this is because young people simply are not using condoms and other barriers consistently or correctly to protect themselves and their partners.

    Condoms Miss the Limelight

    Now, most teens in North America have been exposed to sex ed and know why condoms exist, but this is obviously not the only means to ensuring healthy sex lives.  Indeed, sex pedagogy in North America is riddled with censorship (that’s a whole other post), and health counseling should accompany hormonal contraceptive use. Both these solutions, however, overlook a larger social problem.  The social stigma which has developed around STIs and diseases has produced negative attitudes and ignorance towards safer sex.  It’s fair to say that this negativity permeates in our popular culture.

    Condoms and other safer sex practices have acquired an unsexy reputation from their very absence in romantic and steamy and sex positive representations.  Pornography, films, romance novels, or how-to articles in popular magazines rarely represent the condom and how it can actually increase sensuality, not dull it.  And this is something that needs to change because it limits our knowledge, attitude and imagination about what healthy sex can be.

    This is not to say that viewers of media are passive recipients who are easily influenced by what is on TV.  But media can be interpreted as a cultural artifact that reflects beliefs, attitudes, prejudices of the times.  It is a matter of what sells, and unfortunately, the mainstream only works to reinforce the notion that safer sex is a chore.

    One Solution: Safer Sex Porn!

    There are some who have sought to exert control over the representation of safer sex through alternative media.  One honorable example is the 1990 video short, Current Flow, by Jean Carlomusto starring Annie Sprinkle and Joy Brown.  This explicit video was made in response to Cosmopolitan magazine publishing a piece which erroneously claimed that virtually no females could contract HIV.  The short is basically about a woman (Annie Sprinkle) masturbating on the couch with her vibrator. Suddenly her vibrator stops and we see a woman enter the room with a towel in one hand and a power cord in the other (not many battery-operated vibrators back then).  The woman seductively crawls over Annie and rolls out from her towel dental dams, latex gloves, condoms and lube for the dildo.  And the climax begins.

    But this is not just any girl-on-girl porn, it also emphasizes “showing how”.  For example, a close-up of Annie Sprinkle getting eaten-out shows how to use a dental dam. Another shot shows Joy Brown washing the dildo before it is her turn to use it on Annie.  As Carlomusto writes,

    “…in order to educate lesbians about safer sex we have to establish what it is.  Saying, ‘use a dental dam’ is not the same as saying ‘use a condom’, since many women don’t know what a dental dam is” (1992: 82).

    Current Flow is the first of it’s kind. Sexy and safe lesbian porn made by and for lesbians. It was made at a particular time during the HIV/AIDS crisis when the Centers for Disease Control refused to investigate data on woman-to-woman transmission of HIV.  It was also a time when mass media and public health bureaucracies refused to produce explicit sex education or represent gay and lesbian sexuality.  While the information today is made more available and inclusive of a wider public, we still do not see safe sex represented as often as we see sex in the media.

    Safer sex should be not be limited to public health messages or HIV/AIDS activism.  What would be powerful is normalization of safer sex in everyday media.  Imagine music videos- the soft porn of daytime television- including condoms in a sexy, bootylicious way…

    Dull Feeling in Bed Begins with Dull Attitude

    You might think that the reason there are few representations of positive condoms in popular culture is simply because condoms are genuinely unfun and decrease pleasure.  You might think that it is for this reason that younger people are using condoms less.  I would argue that this belief is grounded more in attitude than it is in actual reality.  Let me explain.

    Some studies, such as “Sexual Pleasure and Condom Use” by Randolph et. al. (2007), have found that those who report sex with a condom as less pleasurable tend to be people who have not used condoms in a while or who don’t use them at all.  They found that more men than women tend to believe condom use is less pleasurable even without actual experience.  It is beliefs that influence experience with condoms and whether one wants to use them. It is true that many people reported that unprotected sex feels better than protected sex. Overall, people who are familiar with using condoms tend to report greater pleasure with protected sex than those who are likely to go without protection.   As Heather Corinna at Scarleteen writes, “The more you use them, the more they feel good, and it’s people who don’t use them at all that tend to complain about them most.”

    In other words, it is the attitude that one has towards condoms that greatly affects satisfaction.  People who use condoms often do not express a decrease in overall pleasure because they learn what condoms suit them best and what ways they are most comfortable using them.

    Know Your Condom

    Which brings me to my next point.  Part of the process of popularizing condoms is to increase understanding of the different types and ways of using them.  Another study by Michael Reece and Debra Herbenick (2012) found that many people do not know how to use condoms properly and what can increase pleasure.  For example, putting a drop of lube inside the condom before rolling it on can improve application and increase sensitivity.  Also, the condom can be put on in sexy and tantalizing ways by you or your partner that make it a part of sex- not an interruption to it. Check out our post for some sexy tips on condom use.

    Pediatrics and sex educators should know condoms too.  Reece and Herbenick suggests that prevention providers can play a valuable role in alleviating negative perceptions of condoms by recommending different condoms made for specific needs.  For example, for those men who feel condoms are too tight, a practitioner may recommend condoms which are designed with a more bulbous head or looser fit.  The point is that there are hundreds of thousands of condom types out there and there needs to be more access and understating of choice and care.

    If it’s true that sexual pleasure with a condom is all in the attitude than it is all the more important that there be representations of safe sex in pop media.  How powerful would it be if Jake Gyllenhaal whipped out a condom during the famous sex scene in Broke Back Mountain!

    What do you think?  Would safer sex in the media help increase positive attitudes towards safe practices?  What do you think should be done to get more youth practicing safer sex?

    Source cited:  Jean Carlomusto & Gregg Bordowitz (1992).“Do It!  Safe Sex Porn for Girls and Boys Comes of Age.” A Leap in the Dark: AIDS, Arts and Contemporary Cultures.  Allan Klusacek & Ken Morrison, eds. Montreal: Vehicule Press.
  • Talking Back At AdSense Policy Against “Adult Content”

    Talking Back At AdSense Policy Against “Adult Content”

    Condom Monologues and other websites dedicated to safe sexual well-being are excluded by default from Google’s AdSense program because we are “sexual in intent or may not be considered family-safe, such as sexual aids, devices and fetishes”.  In their policy, AdSense bans “adult content” that include “SOME treatments of topics such as sexual health and sexual tips or advice, and yet websites like Ashley Madison, which encourages cheating partners and affairs gets huge promotions.  See their policy here.

    Recently, one of those websites, Hot Ice Project, wrote an open letter to Google about the hypocrisy of AdSense.  Hot Ice Inc. writes, “…we thought we will be helping women interested in latest feminine hygiene products and marital aid items… And yes, comfort tampons, female condoms, dildoes, vibrators, lubricants, sex education tapes, butt plugs and cock rings ARE perfectly legitimate marital aid products.  Millions and millions of people around the world use those. Annual sales of 14.3 billion dollars with double digit growth rate cannot possibly be supported by few perverts hovering in dark alleys.”  Read full letter here.

    Hot Ice Inc is an online store that premiers women novelty products.  In such a male-dominated industry of dildos and vibrators, it is one of the only blogs where women can discuss their needs, seek advise and shop.  Their products include lubricants, female condoms, stringless tampons and advice on how to safely use them, as well as a line dedicated to wedding nights and honeymoons.  In an interview with M.O., Founder and CEO Luba Ilyasova says that in her years of working in finance, she has never faced the kind of stigma and penalties that are associated with being labeled “adult business”.

    We agree that in the funny world of sex know-how, what gets censored or silenced contributes to ignorance- a leading cause of STIs, HIV/AIDS, sexual cancers, unwanted pregnancies, gender and sexual abuse, sexuality discrimination, low self-worth….Who determines what is appropriate and inappropriate content affects the kind of exposure online communities receive.  But what is the solution to the problem?  Is it time for AdSense to refine their “mature content” policy?

     

  • Funny Condom Video: What Goes On With Toilet Graffiti?

    I’m sure you have all been into bathrooms sporting a variety of obscene, funny and philosophical graffiti. But what exactly goes on when we turn our backs and leave the bathroom?

    Well, according to this ad, even graffiti needs protection if it wants to get a look in!

    This is quite funny.  We would love to know your thoughts!

    We must warn the video is fairly explicit with cartoon depiction’s of intercourse!

    This is the first of what will hopefully be a weekly series with a new funny condom video being featured each and every week.

  • Funny Condom Video: What Goes On With Toilet Graffiti?

    I’m sure you have all been into bathrooms sporting a variety of obscene, funny and philosophical graffiti. But what exactly goes on when we turn our backs and leave the bathroom?

    Well, according to this ad, even graffiti needs protection if it wants to get a look in!

    This is quite funny.  We would love to know your thoughts!

    We must warn the video is fairly explicit with cartoon depiction’s of intercourse!

    This is the first of what will hopefully be a weekly series with a new funny condom video being featured each and every week.

  • Top Reasons to Wear a Condom

    Here at Condom Monologues we would always recommend that you wear a condom. Obviously the top reasons to wear a condom are to protect you against STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Infections) and unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are the only safe sex option that protects against both.

    However there are a ton of other great reasons to slip on a Johnny before sex. If you’ve had any doubt about using a condom we sincerely hope that these Top Reasons to Wear a Condom will sway your mind…

    1. Trying all the different types of condoms available to you is a fun and exciting task. It can actually spice up your sex life!
    2. Some condoms can actually make sex last longer by slightly reducing sensitivity for guys- Trojan “extended pleasure”.
    3. Many condoms have novelties such as glow in the dark or exotic flavors.
    4. As pregnancy is highly unlikely whilst using a condom you are free to enjoy the sexual experience with no worries.
    5. Condoms make making love a clean ordeal, so often more enjoyable. Your ejaculation is stored neatly in the head of the condom and can be just thrown away.
    6. Intimacy can be increased as having a condom shows your partner that you are sensible and therefore more trustworthy.
    7. Condoms have almost 0 side effects compared with some other contraceptives. That is unless you are allergic to latex but there are options available for you too!
    8. Condoms are often cheaper than other forms of contraception and can be found almost anywhere.
    9. The morning after pill is unlikely to ever be needed and this reduces stress.

    I hope you enjoyed these top reasons to wear a condom, any questions at all please leave a comment or contact us direct.

  • A New Sales Pitch: From Purse to Penis Fahion Accesories

    proper attire

    Planned Parenthood Federation of America, a sexual and reproductive health care provider, is receiving a percentage of proceeds from a new condom line called Proper Attire TM. What’s unique about these condoms are its stylish packaging, from pastels to polka dots to Victorian-like fig leaf print. Also new is its exclusionary retail. Sold only at boutique shops and selective hotels for $6.00 +, its mostly middle-upper class Dandies that are buying. According to Planned Parenthood News Room this new condom strategy hopes to make it cool for women to carry condoms.
    “Social taboos make some women embarrassed to buy and carry condoms. That’s why PROPER ATTIRETM was created,” said PPFA President Cecile Richards. “With its fashionable wrapping, women will now have the option to choose the right ‘attire’ for that special occasion.”
    I’m unsure how to feel about targeting women to buy condoms through the superficial rhetoric of fashion. In an attempt to debunk the stereotype that men are the condom-holders, Proper Attire seems to be investing in another gender stereotype. Furthermore, its posh prices and locale reduces accessibility.
    Would it not be more proper for condom lines to focus on effectiveness, comfort, and accessibility rather than just pretty packaging?
    Nonetheless, it is obvious that Proper Attire’s aim is to make condoms widely appealing and socially acceptable. Perhaps it is better to have a variety of choices- contraceptives feeding a range of taste, cohorts, and occasions… however those demographics are marketed. Perhaps the cause predominates its means, particularly for the non-profit.