This story by Pilar Reyes is originally published on Fuck Feast (@fuckfeast) and cross-posted with permission. The opinions shared are the writer’s own. NSFW.
Whenever I’m in the “Family Planning” aisle at Walmart, usually I just spring for the condoms that are on sale today. Sure, I can always score condoms at various free clinics and free love inclined coffee shops in Oakland, but it’s always good to have some back up, just in case. About a week and a half ago I bought a 36 pack of Trojans, you know, the one that has 4 different varieties of condoms on them. Generally, it would never occur to me to buy those weird “Fire & Ice” condoms or anything other than standard, cheap condoms because, I’ll be honest, I’m not the one with the penis and different types of condoms don’t really create any marginal increase in pleasure, so who cares. (Maybe the dude cares, but if he really cares that much, shouldn’t he be the one buying condoms? And while we’re on that subject, how come it’s always my responsibility to have the condoms? Dudes in this city are so underprepared. I guess every boy in Oakland failed in the Boy Scouts department.)
Anyways, back on topic. I wasn’t really paying attention to the type of condom that the boy was putting on (mostly I just cared that it got on there), but after a few minutes there was this weird tingly-numb sensation in my pussy that immediately made me think, “I’m dying inside my vagina.” But, no, a few seconds later, I thought, “Maybe I’m contracting an STD right now and this is what it feels like….”
Pilar Reyes is an Oakland native who still lives in her hometown. She publishes pieces daily for Fuck Feast[www.fuckfeast.net], her personal blog. When she’s not writing, she’s doing bad things. Follow her on Twitter: @pilar [www.twitter.com/pilar].
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
There is no way I am having you cover my vagina while my partner performs oral sex on me. It is simply not going to happen. I would rather have no oral sex at all, because you sound like torture, kind of like licking ice cream through the screen door.
I am having this rant because my sex partner showed up armed to the hilt with condoms, lube and you for an evening of sex. You were a new addition to the safe sex practice because a counselor at the health center suggested you to him. Obviously, you have never covered that counselor’s vagina during oral sex.
I have no sexually transmitted infections, other than HIV. My partner has no sexually transmitted infections and we are monogamous. The odds of him getting HIV from licking my vagina are about as great as being struck by a meteor. I am going to chance getting hit by a meteor. My partner is also happy to escape having to lick you- dental dam. Oral sex is the greatest pleasure and an alternative safe sex practice that does not involve you right now. Besides, I would never knowingly put someone at risk.
My partner already had the discussion with the condoms about staying off his privates during oral sex, so why the hell would I want you covering my sensitive parts during oral sex and stifling my orgasms? The condoms are bad enough and that is as far as I am willing to go with safe sex practices with my partner. You are not going to take all the pleasure out of sex and intimacy for me. It is simply too much latex and makes no sense.
I have always believed that a little common sense in each situation can go a long way. So you, dental dam, are going to be put in the bathroom drawer until further notice. I promise to seek you out if needed for some future date.
Yours Sincerely,
Virgina
Monologues are independent personal stories. The opinions shared are the writer’s own.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
We give the low down on public sex education debates hitting headlines the past 6 months. There’s been a lot of coverage. Some jaw-drop appalling. Some inspiring. It was difficult to limit ourselves to 10! This year has seen a lot of students standing up for their rights to access of medically accurate, relevant sexual health knowledge.
1) Two Alabama high school students launch a petition to repeal a state law which requires public sex education to teach students that homosexuality is criminal. The Supreme Court has ruled that same-sex sodomy laws are illegal, but that has not stopped the message from being enforced in sex education. “Telling students that being gay is a crime is not only wrong, it’s unconstitutional according to our nation’s highest court”, states the petition. To date, it’s received 93, 836 supporters, over half the required signatures.
2) Similarly, in Tennessee, 11 year old Marcel speaks out against the so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill which seeks to prohibits teachers from discussing homosexuality in K- through Grade 8. He is also standing up against R-John Ragan who previously compared homosexuality to pedophilia and prostitution. Marcel calls on the lobby group, StudentsFirst, to take back its award to R-John Ragan, whom they recently named “Educational Reformer of the Year.” Check out Marcel’s petition and watch the short version of his story found on LGBTQNation.com
3) With this spring’s Steubenville rape trail and the recurrent use of “rape culture”, what better time to push a petition to make “enthusiastic consent” a mandatory part of public sex education nationwide. Unfortunately the petition did not receive enough signatures in time and expired. We learned about this campaign from a self-identified bisexual high schooler who criticizes her sex education on Our Bodies Our Blog.
4) Politically and religiously motivated guest speakers were caught on tape giving false sexual and reproductive health info at a high school assembly. In the hour long lecture, two representatives from an anti-abortion organization preached scare tactics to students. For example, they said that “condoms have a failure rate of about 14%”, that there’s a new STD spreading that is “deadlier and faster than AIDS”, that as the rate of “STDs goes up the rate of fertility goes up” and that “all medical textbooks say that life begins at conception”. They also gave sexist information about male and female sexuality explaining that girls in particular need to be careful about sex because they are predisposed to be hormonally and emotionally “bonded” to whoever they are sexually active with. News about the misinformation taught at abstinence-only assemblies are coming to light only because high school students are speaking out. You can listen to the inflammatory rhetoric from a shorter version of lecture provided by TheTennessean.com.
5) Katelyn Campbell made big waves in April when she refused to attend an abstinence-only assembly calling the presentation “slut-shaming”. Funded by a conservative religious organization called “Believe in West Virginia” and advertised with fliers that proclaimed “God’s plan for sexual purity”, lecturer Pam Stenzel allegedly told students that “if you take birth control, your mother probably hates you” reports ThinkProgresss.org. In response to her protest, the school principal threaten Katelyn’s academic career. But this has only led to more support for Katelyn’s cause inspiring strangers from across North America to fight for comprehensive sex ed. There is now a facebook page Friends of Katelyn Campbell.
You can watch YouTube lectures by Pam Stenzel and her outlandish sex health bullshit. 6) In May, Elizabeth Smart, a kidnap and rape survivor, received serious backlash after criticizing abstinence-only sex education. Smart stated that abstinence-only sex ed did not equip her the self-worth that she needed; instead it contributed to her sense of worthless and filth after being repeatedly raped. Abstinence-only proponents disapproved of her criticism by saying that she was speaking irresponsibly and even questioned the extent of her abuse. Calah Alexander (@calahalexander) writes a poignant piece against the backlash on Patheos.com. She writes,
No one showed even a hint of sympathy for how [Elizabeth Smart] had suffered, not only at the hands of her captors, but at the hands of a degrading philosophy of human sexuality. Such a callous indifference to human suffering is appalling. It shows that too many Christians, too many proponents of abstinence-only education, have put their concern for the welfare of a quasi-political movement above their concern for the welfare of a human being, of human dignity itself.”
7) In other backlash news, the anti-abortion bills that swept over the US during the beginning of 2013 have also impacted sex education. In April, Kansas law determined that life begins “at fertilization”. This bill prohibits any agents connected to abortion providers – including Planned Parenthood – from providing any information on human sexuality to students in public schools.
Image from ThinkProgress.org
8)Sex Week is becoming an actual thing to kick off Spring semester across North America. The lineup varies across campuses including lectures on how to masturbate, how to use condoms, the concept of virginity, contraceptive choices, what it means to be transgender, and how to stop sexual violence—topics that many college students, despite being age 18 and over—never learned about in high school. But 2013 proved a tough year as administrators stalled sex talk events, cut funding, and banned the distribution of free condoms on campus. Cosmopolitan explains more.
9) What exactly does “comprehensive” mean in sex education? Jess Kiley @Jessthefeminist nails it on the head. Providing examples of some outlandish laws passed this year, she makes a strong argument on Feminspire.com for why sex education has failed and sustained homophobia, transphobia and sexism.
10) Ending on a happy note, Illinois has made great strides this year. In January, they enacted a law that requires sex ed to focus on sexual abuse and consent. The state also banned abstinence-only sex ed and put in place new requirements that education must be medically accurate.
For more information on trends sweeping sex education policy across US states check out the Guttmacher Institute, an independent nonprofit research institute that works to provide sexual and reproductive health and rights in the United States and worldwide.
What do you think should be added to this year’s list of public sex education in the news? Share a cause or petition with us.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
The Daily Mail and MSN Now published an exhibit of 1940s sexual health posters raising awareness about the spread of gonorrhea and syphilis. What’s striking is the way these images packaged moral stigma. Women, particularly sex workers, “loose” women and “victory gals” were portrayed as the sinful source of venereal disease. Copying war-style propaganda, some posters depicted sexualized women as the enemy for comrades to brave against. Like this one displaying an assembly line of blonde temptresses- all the same; all out to fuck you and your country.
WWII Public Service Announcement. After condoms are finally made legal in the USA Army. Image from the DailyMail.co.ukLoose equals Loaded with disease! Read STI stigma. Image sourced from the DailyMail.co.uk
Many campaigns, like this one, used fear tactics and warned soldiers not to be fooled by the attraction of “loose” women- for they are not what they seem.
And, of course, we won’t mention the risks of unprotected sex for men who have sex with men, because that doesn’t exist in the armed forces (sarcasm).
Another aspect to put into perspective is the history of condom stigma, especially in the United States during the first World War. These PSAs were made just after condoms became legalized and issued to the Armed Forces.
But during the First World War, the reality of STIs dealt with differently. It was widely believed that venereal disease was the price one paid for sinful choices.
Condom Censorship
Thus, the American Social Hygiene Association objected to issuing condoms to soldiers- so during the First World War, they weren’t. In fact, since 1873, the U.S. government illegalized any advertisement of contraceptives. That same set of laws also banned the sale of condoms and allowed for condoms to be confiscation from personal mail in up to thirty states (Collier, 2007).
It wasn’t until World War II that the use of condom became prominent among both European and American soldiers. Keep in mind that condom technology at the time was not regulated and the pleasure factor was close to nil. Lubricant wasn’t invented until 1957. Defective latex and breakage rates were high. It wasn’t until the 1960s that North America and most of Europe established a quality standard controls for manufacturers to follow (Perera 2004).
Read here for more on the foible history of condoms and other contraceptives.
Visit the Daily Mail and MSN to view more WWII sexual disease propaganda.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
“Positive Sex ideally would involve disclosure being met with acceptance and understanding, not rejection and stigma. Positive Sex would involve the elimination of terminology that is discriminatory on the dating scene and a shift within the public whereby people would consider dating a person living with HIV, without fear or stigma.”- Gail from the HIV Disclosure Project.
The HIV/AIDS pandemic of the 1980s led to a surge of condom campaigns. Now when we hear the term “safe sex” we immediately associate it with male condoms, the Pill, unwanted pregnancy, STIs. HIV transmission is discussed in sex education, but what’s neglected are the specifics about HIV as it is today: how it is manageable, what “undetectable” means, why terms like “clean” are harmful, what the hell is PReP (Pre Exposure) and PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis). And we certainly never discuss the possibility of having a healthy sexual relationship with a person living with HIV.
The reason is because, frankly, there is still fear associated with the virus. People like Gail, Jessica and Jolene, founders of the HIV Disclosure Project, know that HIV stigma persists just as it did 30 years ago. It permeates our fears of “death, dying, contracting the virus through protected sex, casual contact, fear of dating a person who is living with HIV as others may think they are positive as well (guilty by association). Fear that people living with HIV are highly contagious”, Gail describes in our interview. “Many people know the facts about transmission and yet are afraid that there might be some “unusual” accident which will lead to infection.”
Safe sex messages have traditionally been built on fear and as a result, the campaigns have failed miserably; from that fear is born stigmatization and prejudice against people who are HIV-positive. People who choose to disclose their status risk being verbally and physically abused, risk rejection and isolation, risk discrimination by being “outed” (loss of control over who knows their status), risk discrimination in the workplace, schools, with housing, health care and violations of basic human rights. People are deterred from getting tested and treated regularly; it results in silence about one’s status; thus the virus continues to be transmitted. “It’s what we refer to as the Stigma Cycle,” Gail explains.
To fight the stigma born out of fear, the HIV Disclosure Project facilitates open discussions about how to make the dating scene more inclusive of people living with HIV. “We provide a safe, non-judgmental space for people living with HIV to role play, practice a variety of techniques for disclosing if they choose to, while aiming to empower individuals to have options, externalize stigma and challenge public perception of people living with HIV. We want to have PSAs (public service announcements) that ask the question – Why not have sex with someone who is living with HIV?”
The HIV Disclosure Project
The idea for the Project started with three colleagues- Gail, Jessica and Jolene -who saw a need for a supportive workshop where people living with HIV could “discuss, disclose, practice disclosure, find comfortable and timely ways to gauge when to disclose or not, and to process feelings that derived from stigma and rejection,” Gail says.
“People living with HIV also needed a space where they could challenge and change dating terminology which perpetuated stigma and fear of HIV, including terms such as “clean”, “disease free” and “dirty”. New terminology was needed to describe one’s status that excluded negative connotations and included acceptance, tolerance, and a willingness to consider dating a person who is living with HIV.”
At the time, there were no written manuals on disclosing HIV to sex partners. Granted funding from ACCM (AIDS Community Care Montreal), the three colleagues wrote a manual titled “Positive Sex” and designed a pilot workshop that resulted in much success. The Disclosure Project received further funding from the CIHR (Canadian Institute on Health Research) through CTAC (Canadian Treatment Access Council) where Jolene works as Program Manager. Workshops are now being implemented across Canada in collaboration with ACCM. Jessica facilitates these workshops.
I asked Gail how we might de-stigmatize sexual relationships for people living with HIV. The answer might seem controversial but it reflects upon the fear tactics that are often utilized in government supported sex ed programs and why we need to adopt Positive Sex frameworks in public health.
“What needs to be reinforced in the mainstream are the basic facts about HIV transmission and repeated public service announcements and education which tells the public that it is socially acceptable to have safe sex with a person living with HIV, that having sex with a person living with HIV does not mean they are going to contract HIV. There are many sero- discordant couples who have been in long term relationships where the HIV negative person remained negative.”
“Positive Sex” is the new “Safe Sex”
Image from http://www.ctac.ca/positive-sex
Gail, Jessica and Jolene bring up an important point about the meaning of “safety” that is taught in sex education. What’s often overlooked are issues of emotional safety, such as consent and self-esteem, that are both cause and effect of sex. Few curricula teach consent or communication in a way that is relevant to sexual diversity. Instead, outdated sex education shames discussions of sexual pleasure and desire, and the different types of relationships humans are a part. The Disclosure Project views this type of shaming in opposition to what is positive sex.
As Gail explains, “Positive sex to us means finding ways to successfully disclose one’s HIV status while not feeling threatened, stigmatized or experiencing any negative reactions while disclosing. Positive Sex also involves challenging and changing public perceptions of people living with HIV. In the past, safe sex campaigns were based on fear and as a result, thirty years into the pandemic, there are many misconceptions that perpetuate fear and stigma which need to be challenged.”
“Positive Sex ideally would involve disclosure being met with acceptance and understanding, not rejection and stigma. Positive Sex would involve the elimination of terminology that is discriminatory on the dating scene and a shift within the public whereby people would consider dating a person living with HIV, without fear or stigma.”
To learn more about The HIV Disclosure Project follow them on twitter @sexpartnersHIV. Like their Facebook Page for daily prose, thoughts and poems related to HIV and disclosure.
For information on HIV transmission, prevention, safety and risks refer to ACCM and CTAC. There are a lot of them, but other helpful resource are: CareXO.com, the YAHAnet (Youth, the Arts, HIV & AIDS Network) and The Life Foundation. There is also an excellent article by The Body.com with medical information about the risks HIV transmission when having sex with someone who has undetectable viral levels. Keep yourself informed!
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
To combat the spread of HIV and stigma, we need honest discussions that go beyond politically correct ways of representing today’s realities about the virus without oversimplifying and shaming. That is what these two digital stories offer. Watch and listen.
Real life storytelling is a powerful way to raise awareness about HIV and stigma. Stories not only convey information but they also communicate values that relate the storyteller and the listener in more nuanced ways. The Banyan Tree Project, run by the folks at The Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, has utilized this human resource and extended it to Twitter chat.
Viewing Stories on Twitter #BTPChat
They launched a digital storytelling initiative to combat HIV-related stigma in Asian and Pacific Islander communities. For those of you that don’t know, digital storytelling is a workshop-based practice in which participants write their own first-person scripts, record narration, select and scan images, add music, and make 3-4 minute digital videos- in this case, about one’s experience with HIV. The digital stories are uploaded on the project website and have been shared in panels, conferences, and other community discussions to provoke dialogue and community change.
This is how I learned about the Banyan Tree Project (BTP) and watched the two digital stories posted below. BTP organized 5 weekly Twitter chats with guest including TheBody.com and the USA Positive Women’s Network, among others, and framed questions based on digital stories they shared.
You can follow and participate in the chats by following @BTPMay19 and using the hashtag #BTPChat.
June 6, 2012, there will be a #BTPChat about HIV and Youth with the Youth, the Arts, HIV & AIDS Network (@YAHAnet). It starts at 5pm Eastern /2pm Pacific Time and runs for an hour.
Image from @yahanet
HIV and Gay/Bi Men #BTPChat
Last week’s topic was about men who have sex with men and HIV with the National Minority AIDS Council (@NMAC AIDS). Tony’s digital story initiated the chat. Sharing his experience of grief and denial, Tony emphasizes the need for community support which includes the important role of family and friends.
Following the video, @BTPMay19 tweeted these questions for us all to respond.
1) Tony says “Know your status, get tested, seek treatment, find support.” What do gay/bi men need in order to do this?
2) Tony most likely contracted HIV decades ago. How has the gay community’s perception of HIV changed over the last 30 years? #BTPChat
To-the-point answers (you have to be, it’s twitter!) from various HIV outreach professionals and activists rolled out. I’m REALLY generalizing here but comments ranged from issues of disclosure and stigma, the need for everyone (not just poz folks) to have updated info on the manageability of HIV; and the urgency of different ways to frame HIV facts that resonate with different communities.
In the second video “Side Effects”, a sexual health educator candidly explains what led to his choice to have sex without a condom. He reveals that he’s secretly on post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) and works through his guilt.
The #BTPChat question posed were:
1) PEP/PReP can protect against HIV exposure. What do you think this means for gay/bi men relationships?
2) What challenges do gay/bi men still face when getting tested/treated for HIV? #BTPChat
Also, one of the guest moderators, @NMAC AIDS, asked if this storyteller is a hypocrite and if outreach professionals would use this video when teaching prevention? Again, I’m writing a very simplified overview but I think it’s fair to say that most twitter participants felt this story was the kind of frank discourse needed to tackle taboo subjects like drugs and unsafe sex. Every participant seemed to express support for PEP/PReP stating that it offers more options for different relationships and circumstances. Comments did touch upon the inaccessibility of PEP/PReP due to high costs. It was also emphasized that such treatment must be coupled with promoting regular testing and condoms use in appropriate circumstances. Other participants mentioned that condom stigma needs to be taken more seriously by activists.
Post-Thoughts?
The creation and (careful) distribution of these digital stories have potential to make people rethink assumptions about HIV issues and stereotypes of people living with the virus. These are not HIV experiences typically represented in national public discourse. You will not find them in H&M or state-funded sex ed classes. In some ways, they uphold harmful stereotypes that reduce people with STDs and infections as deviant and careless. The storytellers admit to dissent, recklessness, negligence and guilt. But that is the power of these stories- honest talk that keeps it real.
They expose the trickiness of discussing HIV-related topics without subconsciously casting moral judgment. People are slutty, people are negligent and irrational, people use drugs and take part in abusive relationships (be it with themselves or another).
However, these digital stories are not innately effective at combating HIV stigma and posing discussion. They require careful framing. Dialogue needs to be monitored and kept tailored for particular audiences in order to respect the storyteller and effectively combat myths and stigma that might be decoded by the audience. I think the people at APIWellness who run #BTPChat do a great job at this and I hope they continue to twitter #withoutshame.
What are your responses to these digital stories and the #BTPChat questions?
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
GLYDE has one major advantage on the market. These are the ONLY latex condoms and dams officially certified by the Vegan Society which means they are animal/dairy-free (no casein) and do not support animal testing. They’re also Fair Trade to help protect worker rights. Finally, GLYDE donates 15% of sales of its Red Ribbon condoms to AIDS councils (see GLYDE FAQ). So now you have even more reasons to feel great using these sex companions!
GLYDE is a good option if you are sensitive to allergens. No gluten, paraben, spermicide, formaldehyde, talcum powder are used in the manufacturing process. The lubricant is silicon oil which is free of paraben and glycerin. Any water-based or oil-based lubricant is safe to use with GLYDE latex condoms and dams.
Here we provide measurements for GYLDE. Most of the dimensions were found on the company website or by Undercover Condoms and Condom Jungle (UPDATE: Due to customer complaints, CondomJungle has stop supplying this brand).
Dimensions are also listed on the packaging (would be nice if every company did that!). Some external links in this post are affiliate links that earn us a small commission.
In general, GLYDE’s dimensions are between 7.1” (180mm) to 7.5 (190mm) long and 2.1” (53mm) to 2.2” (56mm) wide. This places GYLDE on the smaller end of “regular” condoms in the North American.
GLYDE Sheer Flavored Dental Dams More information on the importance of protected oral sex.
Made From organic fruit extracts; no synthetic flavors
100% vegan
Ultra thin and smooth
Flavors include Vanilla/crème, strawberry/pink, wildberry/purple, cola/black
10” x 6”/25cm x 15cm
MALE CONDOM
SNUG Fit
GLYDE Slimfit
The most snug 100% vegan condom on the market
Base width: 1.9”/49mm
Length: 6.7”/170mm
Comes in natural transparent color, red color, or strawberry flavor
GLYDE Sheer Flavored Condoms From organic fruit extracts; no synthetic chemicals
No chemicals, parabens or spermicide
Base width: 2.1”/53mm
Length: 7.1”/180mm
GLYDE Sampler Pack
Don’t be shy, give new condoms a try!
Pack includes most popular flavors: GLYDE Ultra Vanilla, Strawberry, Blueberry, Wildberry and
GLYDE Slimfit
LARGE Fit
GLYDE Maxi Premium
This condom offers a little more length and width than regular condoms
Base width: 2.2”/56mm
Length: 7.8”/200mm
There is also a Maxi Red. 15% of sales for GYLDE Red Ribbons are donated to AIDS councils.
GLYDE SuperMax
The largest vegan condom on the market!
Base width: 2.36”/ 60mm
Length: 7.87”/200mm
(Super Max is not yet available to buy from N. America)
GLYDE Non-Latex
GLYDE Unique
GLYDE’s non-latex male condoms
Seems to be available to buy from Australia only.
Base width: 2.36”/ 60mm
Length: 6.7”/ 170mm
We’re dubious about these measurements as we have never seen such vast proportion of length and width before. Dimensions provided by GetPrice.com.au. If these measurements are true, this is the shortest, fattest condom available! We recommend contacting the manufacturer directly.
Stay Updated!
This size chart will be updated regularly and we will post as soon as more Glyde products become available in North America. Follow us on twitter @condommonologue, like us on www.facebook.com/CondomMonologues, or sign up to our RSS feed. You can always shoot us a question in the comment section below.
Let us know what you think! Have you tried Glyde condoms?
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
A California-based company is hoping to revolutionize protective barriers by introducing the Origami Condom(company website). Their three condom types are currently under clinical testing and are expected to hit the market by 2015, but already the prototype has received much attention. Speculations range from eager “Fuck yeahs!” to fearful “Hell nos” like Linda Sharps’ worry of “weird noises” this accordion-shape might make. Well, such are the trials of new technology.
To their credit, Origami Condoms has been applauded by the popular daytime show The Doctors (watch TV segment). Bigger still, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has titled Origami the leading condom innovator in the private sector. Gates blogs about it here.
Leading Condom Innovation
Head honchos aside, here are at least 4 reasons why this new johnny should turn your head.
It is the first of many things.
Origami Male Condom (OMC) via www.origamicondoms.com
Like…
1) It’s the first non-roll condom. This is the most striking feature. The bare physics of it are even more intriguing. Its folding “pleats” allow the condom to move and flex consistently with the body, unlike a roll-on condom which is engineered to clutch in place against movement. Another plus is that Origami is made of non-allergenic, soft silicon (here’s our post for more on non-latex options). This video demonstration comparing a male latex condom to an Origami clearly shows the difference (YouTube).
warning: videos here may not be suitable for children or work environment
2) It’s the first to dress in under 3 seconds. The video shows why Origami boasts that it’s male condom can be put on faster and easier than a classic rolling latex. Departure from the rolling-down procedure is made possible by a folding, extendable sleeve. So there is less chance of snagging skin, choking and bunching up in the way of intimacy. The female and anal condoms will come with an optional insertion applicator if help is needed.
Origami Anal Condom via www.origamicondoms.com
3) It’s the first to focus on anal sex. Today, the only other option for protective anal sex, besides the standard roll on condoms, is the female condom. Yet, the FC2 (which is the only female condom available- more on that below) has not been approved by the FDA for anal sex. In fact, before Origami, there are no condoms which are tested and approved specifically for safe anal sex.
Origami Female Condom via www.origamicondoms.com
4) It’s a new female condom. This is good news given the very limited options of female condoms on the market. The FC2 is the only female condom available in North America and is made of nitrile rubber which carries few allergens. The silicon material of Origami has absolutely no allergies. Also, the flexibility of Origami may be more form fitting compared to the one-size-fits-all design of FC2 which does not favor everyone.
The Origami Condom designs are not only innovative; they’re inclusive of other sexualities and sex practices that are often overlooked in the safer sex industry.
This is my own speculation (and there has been no human testing done, so take with a grain of salt!), but perhaps due to the collar at the opening of the female and anal Origami, this design might open doors to a more effective condom at preventing STIs like HPV, of which standard male condoms are ust 70% effective (according to a study via New Scientist).
“Origami Wont’ Go Viral, But The Promo Should!”- Danny Resnic, Origami inventor and owner
This is what the Origami inventor proclaims in his reach-out Indiegogo Campaign video. Resnic explains that because this is a totally new barrier protection, it is crucial to communicate to the world how to use Origami correctly and consistently. However, Origami is facing serious marketing challenges due to FCC media restrictions.
Danny Resnic, inventor of Origami Condoms, seeks funding to produce a FCC compatible media promo via Indiegogo
The FCC will not allow a condom to be shown on TV and radio ads have language restrictions. This makes it really difficult to market a product that is so alternative and yet they cannot verbally or visually explain how to use it, nor can they mention anything relevant like buttholes and vagina or penis.
Thus Origami has launched a campaign to help raise funds to produce a 30 second TV and social media promo that is compatible with the FCC and delivers a clear message on correct and consistent use. Their goal is to reach $50,000 by the beginning of June. Check out their campaign on Indiegogo..
Visit the company website for news and sign up at the bottom of their page to be notified when Origami hits the market. All images are provided by www.OrigamiCondoms.com
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I spend a lot of time in the sex-positive community trying to connect with new people. Somewhere along the way, I found myself clicking through the gooey rhetoric of tantric sex. Like, “It’s the art of disappearing inside each other”…“It dissolves the boundaries between two people…even beyond having a body.” I came across an article by Vena Ramphal in the Huffington Post. Reading her breakdown of systems and terminologies, it struck me how oversimplified pop culture portrays tantric sex.
While I know little about the discipline, I think it’s fair to place it in the sex-positive category. But where do practicalities of safer sex come into play? I mean, it’s not common to see condoms in erotic drawings of the Kama Sutra. Do tantric sex coaches ever implement condoms when teaching “spiritual awareness”?
How do tantric professional approach issues of STIs? Of sexual health?
Follow Vena on Twitter @VenaRamphal
For Vena Ramphal, safe sex begins with emotional intelligence. Vena Ramphal (PhD) is a philosopher and teacher of erotic pleasure and romance. Her background is in yogic-tantric philosophy and the pleasure traditions of the Kama Sutra. She is also a twitter poet, offering insights into the subtleties of intimacy. We agreed to an interview and she shared her thoughts on sex positivity and safer sex.
How do you define “sex positivity” or sex positive approaches in education and counseling? How do you relate to this within your work?
For me, sex positivity is simple. It says, ‘Sexual pleasure as good not guilty.’ To be sex positive is to see physical intimacy as being good for people. This is a very different frame of reference to our dominant cultural understanding which see sexual pleasure in terms of morality.
To look at sex as a nurturing experience that engenders physical, mental and emotional wellbeing is a good basis on which to generate sex positive discourse. In my work I help people to reframe their attitudes to sex on this basis.
Does the use of condoms and other safe sex practices enter the discourse of sexual pleasure/awareness? How have you dealt with this in your work?
In my work the practicalities of safe sex – such as condoms and sexual health checks – are a base line. There are still a lot of people who don’t get regular sexual health checks – especially those in their fifties and above, so it’s really important to have this conversation.
However, I also coach people to think about safe sex more subtly – as a practice in emotional intelligence.
For example, it takes emotional intelligence to know what you want to do, and what you don’t want to do with your body; and to communicate during sex especially when your partner asks for something you don’t want to give.
Safe sex is about holding your own boundaries and respecting your partner’s boundaries – their body, their mood and their desires.
We need to integrate the idea of safe sex into discourses on sexual pleasure. The health and safety side of sex – condoms etc. – is still seen as inhibiting pleasure, so people are reluctant to talk about it. They’d rather talk about the fun stuff. Getting them to think about safe sex as an emotionally intelligent thing to do, gives them a new way of looking at the practicalities of wearing a condom.
What do you feel is an important problem in mainstream consciousness about “healthy sex” and how do you suggest to fix it?
I think the baseline problem is that in mainstream consciousness sex is still seen as forbidden fruit. This injects guilt into sexuality and however subconscious this might be, it creates a fundamentally unhealthy relationship with sex.
We need to change our cultural mythology of sex. It’s a big ask but I think we need to free sex of guilt. We’ll accomplish this by changing the way we think and feel about sex. Of course this is a multi-aspected task. Our cultural mythology is told through so many media, from language (swear words are an interesting example of how we damage our relationship with sex) to movies and sex education policy.
I think a good place to start is to develop the highest regard for your own body, irrespective of sex. This is something that we can all do for ourselves without external help. Replace critical thoughts and feelings about your body with appreciative ones. Give up saying anything disparaging about your looks. This is only a first step but its a significant one because your relationship with your body is the foundation for your sex life.
In the field of sex counseling and education, what sets you apart from common approaches and what defines your work?
I’m a philosopher of sex. To me, sex as an expression of self. The technicalities of good sex are only the first step. I think the really interesting questions are underneath the technicalities. Questions such as ‘How fully are you giving your attention to the point where flesh meets flesh?’
‘What sexual attitude do you bring to bed with you?’ ‘What effect does sex have on your emotions?’
For me, the flesh is the most immediate and complete expression of self, more than thoughts or words. When I’m educating people about the technicalities of good sex we discuss their intentions and attitudes towards sex and their partner.
Also I teach a self-centred rather than relationship-centred approach to sex. This isn’t about being selfish but about knowing what you want and what you don’t want. It’s about knowing how to read your own desire and listen to your body. On this basis you learn to hold your partner’s body and desires in the highest regard
What do you think it is about your identity that brought you into the field of sex education?
I think the human body is extraordinary. I’d say that my experience of the world is primarily kinaesthetic. I trained in classical Indian dance from the time I was seven, and loved it. My first career was as a dancer and choreographer. To me the body is precious because of its capacity to express who-I-am to who-you-are. Sex is the most intricate and intimate form of that expression.
I feel sad when I see people in poor relationship with their own sexuality. Its a missed opportunity. I’m glad to be able to help people improve their approach to erotic pleasure so they have more fulfilling sex lives.
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This post is written by Tashia Amenerio, founder of the non-profit HPV Awakening. She writes from her personal experience why she is pushing for HPV be reportable- meaning sexual partners must legally inform each other of their status- and why she urges you to sign the petition to get the FDA to approve HPV testing for men.
(Un)Knowing HPV
Graph from the CDC. Fourteen million will become newly infected with HPV this year. This means that almost every sexually active person in the US will acquire HPV at some point in their lives.
When diagnosed with HPV, life as you know it is over. You face disturbing contradictions within the medical community . On the one hand, there are those who describe it as “this generation’s AIDS”. On the other side, you are faced with medical “experts” who don’t know their head from a hole in the ground and tell you that HPV is nothing to worry about.
Here is the kicker: Most HPV strands, like most cold or flu strands, really don’t do much of anything but chill out in your body having a viral party of genome development. The issue(s) arise when you get people who are knowingly infecting others with cancer causing strands- a crime of which I’m personally all too well aware. And then you have others who are unknowingly transmitting the STI. A major reason for this is because it is not standard practice to get tested for HPV- and there are no official tests made publicly available for males- despite the fact that HPV is the most prevalent STI in North America right now.
So What Can We Do?
www.hpvawakening.org.
Well, I started a nonprofit HPV Awakening Inc. I lecture all over the Florida and have done a few media interviews. I sit here now writing you about my experiences and I’ve launched a petition that needs 100,000 signatures by May 28th, 2013, so that it can go to the White House to get HPV male testing approved by the FDA. Sign the petition.
I have contacted several local media stations and sites. And I have tried moving my civil court case Tashia Ameneiro vs. Zamil Xavier Lopez to a criminal one in order to have the state acknowledge the fact that HPV cancer strands should be taken as serious as AIDS/HIV strands.
The Miami Dade DA has kindly informed me that, well, HPV isn’t mentioned in the Florida statute at all. Thus they can’t help me. This is in spite of the fact that my case is backed with the full support from the local police department that filed my report (Miami Gardens), and they are willing to facilitate the investigative work!
So here is where you the reader come in. What can you do? Well, if you have ever been diagnosed or know someone that has been- I can relate. It sucks and it isn’t easy. And fun (insert EXTREME sarcasm) questions and situations follow diagnosis.
From Why Me? To What I Will Do About It!
In my case, I had been a virgin with no sexual experience prior to my ex, so I didn’t have to go through the questioning phase of Who? But I did have to go through the constant questioning phase of Why? After I received my diagnosis and contacted my ex he kindly informed me that he had known but since it hadn’t directly impacted me he hadn’t cared.
But that wasn’t the only “Why”. The “Why me?” phase kicked in and it kicked in for several of my friends too. Because once you get sick, it isn’t just you. It’s you and those that care about you, or who know you in a caring light- family, acquaintances, associates, co-workers and strangers you disclose to- that are impacted.
I remember one conversation in particular with a friend of mine that went through a bad life phase (attempted suicide and was a bug chaser at one point in time) sitting on the stairs while we shared a smoke (a short lived habit I picked-up during that “Why be and Why bother” phase). He was crying because he couldn’t understand how “Good people like [me], who never do anything risky end up getting sick and people like [him], who have tried every way possible to be ill and die didn’t.” Easy answer: “I don’t know what a ‘good’ person is, but sometimes Shit Just Happens.” It is a matter of what you do with the situation that counts.
I finished the cigarette and realized that some habits aren’t worth starting or maintaining just to stay wallowing in self-pity.
For those of you that are still reading, I say Yay! Thank you in sharing in my past misery. It really does love company.
Please sign the petition to get HPV male testing approved by the FDA. Go to We The People to sign.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
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