Condom Monologues

Tag: human rights

  • Poster Child of DOMA: Testifying the impacts of marriage inequality

    Poster Child of DOMA: Testifying the impacts of marriage inequality

    LGBTQ-logue 004.

    I’m a tangible poster child for why DOMA should be repealed. If someone asks what’s unfair about our marriage not being recognized in all states, I can offer several examples, but here is the most glaring one: I’m dying. I have a terminal illness and I pretty much know my life span. My wife and I have been together since 1993, and we’re legally married in the state of California, yet the federal government does not recognize our marriage and the rights included therein.- Cathy, written testimony submitted before the Committee on the Judiciary, Respect for Marriage Act, July 20 2011.

    Important markers in US human rights history this week!  Hillary Clinton formally endorses marriage equality and next week the Supreme Court makes a decision on the repeal of the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act.  For our weekly LGBTQlogue Initiative, we look back at beginning stages to repeal DOMA through the testimony of Cathy.

    Cathy is an activist dedicated to repealing DOMA and raising awareness about ALS.
    Cathy is an activist dedicated to repealing DOMA and raising awareness about ALS.

    Cathy and her wife have been together for twenty years.  Cathy is dying from Lou Gehrig’s disease with a life expectancy of one to five years. Because the federal government does not recognize their marriage, Cathy’s wife will not receive her social security survivor benefits after she passes away.  Instead, Cathy’s social security will go to the government.  In her written testimony for the Committee on the Judiciary of the Respect for Marriage Act, Cathy explains how DOMA denies her family basic rights and stability that come with federal recognition of marriage.  Cathy hopes to live long enough to see DOMA nullified.

    In January 2009, I was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) a.k.a. Lou Gehrig’s disease. This is a progressive, fatal neuromuscular disease. Most people with ALS die 2 to 5 years after diagnosis….I have a powerful incentive to live long enough to see the federal government recognize our marriage. Without this recognition, my wife will not receive my social security benefits.

    I met my wife in 1993 and we had our first unofficial wedding celebration on June 16, 2001. In February of 2004, we were one of thousands of couples who got married in San Francisco City Hall after Gavin Newsom honored our rights to marry. We had to travel three times to San Francisco in attempts get our marriage license because we weren’t allowed to schedule appointments as is done for heterosexuals. With thousands of other couples, we had to line up for blocks in rain, fog, cold, and wind for up to thirteen hours each trip. Our determination and steadfast love prevailed. The fourth time, we, like other couples, were allowed to schedule appointments and receive our marriage license. We exchanged vows immediately after in the glory of the S.F. City Hall rotunda. We framed our marriage license from the County of San Francisco, which the courts later nullified.

    Again we did not give up. We were one of the 18,000 gay couples who did get married legally in California before California’s Proposition 8 put an end to gay marriages in the state. Our marriage is still considered valid in California, so we do have the same rights as any married couple in California.

    However, when we step out of California, or deal with federal laws, we have none of those rights. This means if my wife and I travel out of state and my ALS requires a trip to the emergency room or a hospital stay, my wife could be denied the right to be with me at a time when I could be breathing my last breath.

    When I die, [my wife] will not get my social security benefits. For heterosexual couples all over the country, when a person dies, their spouse gets their social security benefits. You get a monthly stipend because you’ve been paying into social security all your working life. You then draw off that money after you retire and if you die, it goes to your spouse or your dependent.

    However, since the federal government does not recognize our marriage, [my wife] won’t get that. All the money I would have gotten to help support us if I were to grow older just goes back to the government. [My wife] can’t have it.

    I contacted attorneys to see if there was anything I could do. They told me that, in the eyes of the federal government, I have no spouse. A few friends suggested that I legally adopt my wife, but the only way I could do that was if she were mentally incompetent. I don’t have any children so when I die my hard-earned money goes back into a government that doesn’t honor our legal California vows. Not only will my wife suffer [the loss of her] life companion, she will suffer financially.

    Although some people consider social security benefits to be of minimal help, in this case it could mean the difference of my wife being able to pay her rent. We are not wealthy and, even though we are known regionally as “rock stars,” most of our years together we lived paycheck to paycheck. We did inherit some money after my brother Larry died of ALS, but most of this was spent on pre-paying my cremation, the death certificates, and taking care of other legal matters upon my death.

    So once again I emphasize that with DOMA currently in place, the absence of social security benefits will burden [my wife] during her already stressful and sorrowful grief and mourning. Because her immediate and extended families shun her, they certainly will not be helping her emotionally or financially. As more of my family members die of ALS, my wife’s support system will continue to diminish.

    We had a well-known duo, Duval Speck, a band, The Essentials, and produced three CDs. We performed all over California for LGBT rights and celebrations, ALS Benefits, and at “mainstream” public events. We never changed a word in any song, which made us vulnerable to “haters.” For example, if the lyrics were: “I fell in love with her, and knew she’d be my wife; I would comfort her for all of her life,” we’d never switch “her” to “him.”

    In 2009, the first year and a half after I was diagnosed, we produced, directed and performed in many benefit concert fundraisers for ALS. Sadly, the ALS has now taken away my ability to sing, and my arms and hands hurt and are too weak to play percussion. On Sept 25, 2010 we put on a hugely successful concert for ALS. That was the last time either of us performed.

    My wife, is also my caregiver. Doing her job, the tasks that I can’t do anymore, putting me to bed, cooking and monitoring how I eat, and making sure I can breathe, doesn’t leave much time for making music. If you have ever heard her play guitar and sing, you’d agree that she is uniquely wonderful. This is such a horrible loss for her and our friends and fans.

    I have to sleep with special equipment to deliver oxygen now, and my energy continues to decline. My degree of fatigue determines what I can accomplish each day. Nothing, and if you could see my face right now, you’d know I mean nothing will dampen my spirit. And, I hold onto hope that if I live long enough, maybe the laws will change and the federal government will recognize our marriage. That keeps me getting out of bed in the morning, striving for LGBT equal rights, and continuing to raise funds to find a cause and cure for ALS.

    .….if you want a real-life example of why DOMA is unjust, I’m right here–a 51-year-old woman dying from ALS (a disease our society tends to hide) and my wife, 53, with still plenty of life to live. I’m the “poster child” for “Repeal DOMA” and “Defeat ALS.” Some people in our great country don’t think we’re as good as they are, and don’t think we deserve the same rights. Well, we are as “good as they are” and we do deserve the same marriage rights. Go ahead and plaster my story on every wall and every screen.

    I’m not dead yet. Even the terminally crippling disease of ALS won’t stop me as I strive to open hearts and eyes, so that all may live with love and equality.

    Original (PDF) found on MarriageEquality.org

    Cathy has a blog: check it out.

  • Walking While Trans: police profiling and abuse of LGBTQ communities of color in Queens

    Walking While Trans: police profiling and abuse of LGBTQ communities of color in Queens

    LGBTQ 003.  In this entry of our LGBTQ-Logue Initiative, posting mementos of sexual justice issues, we share narratives from participants in a study about the gender-based violence that police regularly commit against LGBTQ and gender nonconforming people.

    Illustration by Molly Crabapple. Posted with permission. Found on Vice Mag.
    Illustration by Molly Crabapple. Posted with permission. Found on Vice Mag.

    In response to the rise of complaints about hate violence and police abuse against LGBTQ people in Jackson Heights, especially among people of color, the community-based organization Make the Road NY (MRNY) and the Anti-Violence Project (AVP) conducted a preliminary study to ascertain the extent of the problems with police. Between 2011 and 2012, MRNY and AVP collected over 300 surveys with LGBTQ and gender nonconforming people in Jackson Heights.  Interviews were conducted by outreach workers and volunteers through street, bar, and nightclub outreach, as well as within support groups and community meetings.

    They found that LGBTQ, and transgender respondents in particular, reported higher rates of police stops compared to non-LBGTQ respondents.  Transgender residents of color were the most likely to experience police harassment and physical abuse when stopped.  46% of transgender respondents reported some form of physical abuse from police compared to 28% of non-LGBTQ respondents.  Narrative evidence obtained through interviews reveals the kind of physical harassment experienced such as handling, pushing, shoving and sexual harassment.

    These are not just selective, one-off narrative accounts.  On the contrary, they are shared because they reflect general tends respondents experience with the NYPD in Queens.

    Carolina describes being intrusively searched by police:

    About 2 years ago something terrible happened when I was out in Jackson Heights. My girlfriend and I were on our way to a club when the police stopped us.  It was about midnight. The police stopped us and asked for our IDs.  My girlfriend had hers but I didn’t have mine with me at the time. At that moment the police started to frisk me and search my pants.  Because I dress very masculine they started telling me to ‘shut up you fucking dyke.’ They started to feel my breasts and search in that area (they were male cops and they’re not suppose to do that). They then proceeded to put me against the wall and told me to spread my legs.  They searched me between my legs like I was a criminal. I told them that I didn’t consent to their search.  But they said that they were ‘the authority’ and that they could do ‘whatever the fuck they wanted’ with me. I felt humiliated because I knew that even if I said something no one would believe me.  Also, because of my immigration status I was afraid to say anything and get deported.- Lesbian woman, Jackson Heights (MRNY 2012, pg. 20)

    Another interviewee, Juan, reported being drag by her hair down the block.

    I was walking down the street with my partner on 34th Avenue and a police car pulled over and told us to get near the car.  When the police officer saw that I was dressed as a woman he pulled my wig, held my hair and dragged me down 34th Avenue for 1 or 2 blocks. – Gay Latino man who cross dresses at night, Queens (Ibid: pg. 20).

    Other narratives reflect violence committed by police and the unjust treatment carried out while in custody.

    I was getting out of a club and heading to a friend’s house in a cab.  When I got to her apartment, I found that the police were stopping her and asking her to produce ID. They were talking to her in English. I intervened and told the officers that she didn’t speak English and that her ID was in her apartment, which we were in front of. I told them that I could get her ID from her apartment. The officers told me to shut up and arrested both me and my friend. The police used a lot of force while arresting us and said some homophobic and transphobic remarks in the process.  They put us in the back of their car and started laughing at us with other police officers who were also there.  I asked one of the officers to please open the window a bit more because we were out of breath, to which he responded by pepper spraying my directly in my face and mouth. Since we were trapped in the back of the car, the pepper spray also started asphyxiating my friend. I started kicking the car door and asking them to please let us out.  They opened the door and dragged me out of the car and started beating me up outside the car, while using transphobic and homophobic remarks. It was a very confusing, demeaning and unjust experience, I ended up being in jail for two days without representation and was intensely harassed by officers while I was in custody.- Transgender Latina woman, Queens (Ibid: pg. 18).

    Part of that harassment involves arbitrary stops on suspicion of prostitution, which takes place in the form of a charge of “loitering for the purpose of prostitution”- a misdemeanor that allows for broad officer discretion.  The profiling of transgender women as sex workers is so common that there is a term for it: “walking while trans”.

    Arrests can be made on the basis of how tight one’s clothing is and how many condoms are on the person, which will be used as evidence in court.  If convicted for prostitution, the person will lose social benefits like food stamps and subsidized housing.  As a result, transgender women are especially fearful that any condom in their possession will be used as evidence against them.

    The survey participants commonly reported stops that seemed to be without basis but in which the police officers later justified the stop by charging the person with prostitution because condoms were found on their person.

    Cristina explained how the police did not believe that her boyfriend was not a patron and the officers confiscated three condoms off of her.

    One night I was with my boyfriend at a club in Jackson Heights, Queens.  At around 4am we left the club together and walked home. We were walking next to each other. At one point an undercover police van stopped next to us.  Eight undercover cops got out from the van and some of them threw me against the wall. While they were handcuffing me, my boyfriend was also through to the wall and they frisked him. They told me I was being arrested for sex work. I told them that I was not doing anything like that. After they frisked my boyfriend, they frisked me and found three condoms, after seeing the condoms they asked if I was sure that I was not working.  I told them that I was with my boyfriend and they said that he was not my boyfriend. I told one of the female cops to help me and that I was not doing anything wrong. She said that she couldn’t help me out. My boyfriend came to the 110th Precinct where I was held and spoke to the captain; he tried to explain that I was his girlfriend and that I was with him. But the captain said that he couldn’t do anything. I was taken to court and was accused of sex work.– Transgender woman, Jackson Heights (Ibid: pg 21).

    Another interviewee describes being jumped by undercover cops and experiencing repetitive humiliation and harassment while in custody:

    Last week, I went out dancing at a small night club on Roosevelt Avenue.  After having a good time and feeling ready to go home, I contacted my friends so that we could meet at a small taqueria before we all headed home.  Meeting up at the taqueria after a night out is routine for us because the tacos are really good, and it’s also the only way we know that our circle of friends is safe.

    While on my way to the taqueria, I was approached by a dark colored car driven by a middle-aged male.  As the male pulled alongside me, he said something I couldn’t hear properly.  As I did not hear what the male was saying, I inched a little closer to his vehicle and he repeated, ‘Why are you so beautiful and yet alone?’ Before I knew it, two undercover officers jumped out of a van that was parked along the street and told me that I was under arrest.  When I asked the officer’s why they are arresting me, they told that I was ‘engaging in prostitution’.

    They cuffed me and the officers questioned me further, took my purse away from me and placed me into the unmarked van.  Although I had nothing on me and did nothing wrong, they still took me, transferred me into another police van filled with about a dozen trans-women and then took us all down to the 115th Precinct where we were fingerprinted, written up and later transferred to the central booking.  My experience in the holding cell at central booking was terrible.  I was humiliated inside of the holding cell by the guards and the men who occupied the cell with me.  The guards would not all me anything other than bread and water to eat and I was not allowed to use the toilet when I needed to go.  Tears streamed down my face as for the first time I was encountering the daily harassment that transwomen face for just walking home.-Transgender Latina woman, Queens (Ibid: pg. 17).

    And it doesn’t just happen at night after clubbing.  It also happens while doing routine daily activities such as walking the dog or grocery shopping.  Here is just one testimony of many from the MRNY study.

    I am transgender.  I was walking to the store near my house on Roosevelt Avenue when two cops stopped and arrested me.  When I asked why I was being arrested, they replied, ‘Because you are pretty.’ They charged me with loitering for prostitution when I was only walking down the street.- Transgender Latina woman, Queens (Ibid: pg. 17)

    This profiling and abuse has been documented extensively across the US by Amnesty International (2005), the PROS Network (2011) and Human Rights Watch (2012), to name a few.  All studies conclude that there needs to be more done within the legal system and law enforcement culture to address homophobic and transphobic attitudes and discriminatory policing against LBGTQ people.  Suggestions include LGBTQ liaison units to police forces and integrating LGBTQ issues into officer education and professional development.

    There is also a bill to end the use of condoms as evidence of sex work.  Since 1999, a coalition of people in the sex trades, allies, and community-based organizations have been working to pass the No Condoms As Evidence bill into law in NY state.  In 2012, a report by the PROS Network and Sex Worker Project revealed how the use of condoms as evidence of prostitution is creating a public health crisis because it is deterring targeted populations from carrying condoms.  This is “deeply concerning”, writes Emma Caterine of the Red Umbrella Project, as people in the sex trade and gender nonconforming people are often most at risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections. “To combat this violence and promote safer sex, we must stop the use of condoms as evidence by both police and prosecutors (RH Reality Check, 2013).”

    On April 23rd, 2013, Red Umbrella Project will be lobbying in Albany, NY to get the No Condoms as Evidence bill passed by representatives.  For more information on this bill and how you can get involved, check out their website.