Tag: monologues

  • Naked For Safe Sex

    Naked For Safe Sex

    Andrew shows that three floors, a cold night and a neighbor’s cat are no obstacle against safer sex. How far would you go to get a condom? 

    Copyright of condommonologues.com
    In this circumstance, I didn’t mind a bit of shrinkage! Copyright of condommonologues.com

    As a lot of these types of stories go, it was after a very heavy night of dancing and drinking at Club Kali in London.

    I hooked up with some random guy who had taken a shine to my, let’s say, bulge. We had stopped off on the way back for supplies. We reached his flat. We were ripping clothes off of each other and were getting wet and horny when I realised that I forgot the shopping bag with all the condoms and lube in his car!

    Now this guy lived on the third floor of a block of flats in the middle of Hackney. And I was drunk and I was very horny. So I decided that there was no time to waste and didn’t put clothes on to run down to his car stark naked.

    It was a cold night and for once I would have been glad of it to cause shrinkage. Because you see, this elderly neighbour got an awful shock when she let out her cat. So I did the polite thing and said good night, leaving her stammering as I walked back upstairs. I couldn’t help but laugh while pulling on the condoms. It was worth it to spend a happy few hours having very safe but very hard fun.

    Monologues are independent stories. The opinions shared are the author’s own.

     

  • What Fire & Ice Condoms Feel Like According to Pilar Reyes

    What Fire & Ice Condoms Feel Like According to Pilar Reyes

    This story by Pilar Reyes is originally published on Fuck Feast (@fuckfeast) and cross-posted with permission. The opinions shared are the writer’s own. NSFW. 

    Image from UnderCover Condoms
    Image from UnderCover Condoms

    Whenever I’m in the “Family Planning” aisle at Walmart, usually I just spring for the condoms that are on sale today. Sure, I can always score condoms at various free clinics and free love inclined coffee shops in Oakland, but it’s always good to have some back up, just in case. About a week and a half ago I bought a 36 pack of Trojans, you know, the one that has 4 different varieties of condoms on them. Generally, it would never occur to me to buy those weird “Fire & Ice” condoms or anything other than standard, cheap condoms because, I’ll be honest, I’m not the one with the penis and different types of condoms don’t really create any marginal increase in pleasure, so who cares. (Maybe the dude cares, but if he really cares that much, shouldn’t he be the one buying condoms? And while we’re on that subject, how come it’s always my responsibility to have the condoms? Dudes in this city are so underprepared. I guess every boy in Oakland failed in the Boy Scouts department.)

    Anyways, back on topic. I wasn’t really paying attention to the type of condom that the boy was putting on (mostly I just cared that it got on there), but after a few minutes there was this weird tingly-numb sensation in my pussy that immediately made me think, “I’m dying inside my vagina.” But, no, a few seconds later, I thought, “Maybe I’m contracting an STD right now and this is what it feels like….”

    Read the full story at Fuck Feast

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    Pilar Reyes is an Oakland native who still lives in her hometown. She publishes pieces daily for Fuck Feast [www.fuckfeast.net], her personal blog. When she’s not writing, she’s doing bad things. Follow her on Twitter: @pilar [www.twitter.com/pilar].