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This poster is inspired by one of the most progressive pieces on consent yet. “The Consent Post” by Elena Kate exposes the inherent problems of the “No means No” approach and re-frames consent as “Yes means Yes”. What’s more, she goes beyond simple definitions by acknowledging nuances and complexity. It is contrary to what most sex education programs teach (if consent is mentioned at all!); consent is not a single uniform act of permission. Elena writes that consent is an on-going, “cooperative investigation of options, and a careful, considerate selection that is approved and preferred by all parties involved”.
What do you think?
Check out more illustrations by the Condom Monologues collective!
The memory of this experience was triggered by a discussion I overheard about massage oils recently.
I went through a very brief phase in online hook-ups for sex. I wanted to experience it as I was a very late bloomer who hadn’t had much casual sex. I decided to read the profiles for a hot, young, firm, sexy guy for sex. Only sex. I was not concerned with anything else but his physical appearance as I searched for a casual hook up for the evening. Another reason I wanted a young man was for the almost guarantee that he would go the duration. I conducted a small interviewing process online and found one who appeared to meet my needs. We chatted, we talked on the telephone and we met at a café.
We hit it off and rushed back to his place. We got undressed and made out for a while. As he reached for the bottle of hot massage oil he asked if it would matter if he put some on his dick. I shrugged (not so sure what it would do) so we rubbed it on.
Later, while having what began as great sex, he jumped up screaming – “my dick is on fire!”- as he proceeded to rip the condom off and put his red hot dick under cold running water in the bathroom sink. Apparently all the friction with the condom and his skin heated up his dick until it felt like it was in flames.
It may have been an insightful idea to read the fine print on the hot oil massage bottle. Sex was otherwise getting heated without oil. What a waste of good sex and it looked like his recovery was going to take a while, so I moved on. The good condom news in this story is, had we not used one I would have experienced the same sort of fire crotch too!
Virgina
Always read the instructions and warning labels on oils, lubricants and condoms. Never use oil-based products with latex or polyisoprene condoms. It can break down the material. Polyurethane condoms are compatible with oils. So are “lambskins” (but these do not protect against STIs).
Monologues are independent stories. The opinions shared are the authors own. What is your sexual safety story?
