I can’t imagine it’s easy being a French town at the best of times, without having the daily struggle and ridicule of being known as ‘Condom’. All the other towns must point and laugh, and let’s be fair, they have every reason to. I mean, naming a town ‘Condom’, it’s just not fair. Would you name your baby ‘Coil’? Or your new dog ‘The Pill’? Even as middle names, contraceptives rarely work. That said, ‘Sheath’ seems to be a fairly well accepted surname.
Anyway, despite the word ‘condom’ not strictly being part of the French language, the people of this town have accepted it does have an English meaning. They have built their own museum detailing the history of the Rubber Johnny. They ensure each and every shop has a regular supply of everyone’s favourite rubber things and even some of the road dividers have been gifted a rather humorous shape!
Good to see a town’s sense of humour breaking a very well established language barrier…
Monologues are independent stories. The opinions shared are the author’s own. You can read more by Duncan @ DuncWilson.co.uk
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
I’m a tangible poster child for why DOMA should be repealed. If someone asks what’s unfair about our marriage not being recognized in all states, I can offer several examples, but here is the most glaring one: I’m dying. I have a terminal illness and I pretty much know my life span. My wife and I have been together since 1993, and we’re legally married in the state of California, yet the federal government does not recognize our marriage and the rights included therein.- Cathy, written testimony submitted before the Committee on the Judiciary, Respect for Marriage Act, July 20 2011.
Cathy is an activist dedicated to repealing DOMA and raising awareness about ALS.
Cathy and her wife have been together for twenty years. Cathy is dying from Lou Gehrig’s disease with a life expectancy of one to five years. Because the federal government does not recognize their marriage, Cathy’s wife will not receive her social security survivor benefits after she passes away. Instead, Cathy’s social security will go to the government. In her written testimony for the Committee on the Judiciary of the Respect for Marriage Act, Cathy explains how DOMA denies her family basic rights and stability that come with federal recognition of marriage. Cathy hopes to live long enough to see DOMA nullified.
In January 2009, I was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) a.k.a. Lou Gehrig’s disease. This is a progressive, fatal neuromuscular disease. Most people with ALS die 2 to 5 years after diagnosis….I have a powerful incentive to live long enough to see the federal government recognize our marriage. Without this recognition, my wife will not receive my social security benefits.
I met my wife in 1993 and we had our first unofficial wedding celebration on June 16, 2001. In February of 2004, we were one of thousands of couples who got married in San Francisco City Hall after Gavin Newsom honored our rights to marry. We had to travel three times to San Francisco in attempts get our marriage license because we weren’t allowed to schedule appointments as is done for heterosexuals. With thousands of other couples, we had to line up for blocks in rain, fog, cold, and wind for up to thirteen hours each trip. Our determination and steadfast love prevailed. The fourth time, we, like other couples, were allowed to schedule appointments and receive our marriage license. We exchanged vows immediately after in the glory of the S.F. City Hall rotunda. We framed our marriage license from the County of San Francisco, which the courts later nullified.
Again we did not give up. We were one of the 18,000 gay couples who did get married legally in California before California’s Proposition 8 put an end to gay marriages in the state. Our marriage is still considered valid in California, so we do have the same rights as any married couple in California.
However, when we step out of California, or deal with federal laws, we have none of those rights. This means if my wife and I travel out of state and my ALS requires a trip to the emergency room or a hospital stay, my wife could be denied the right to be with me at a time when I could be breathing my last breath.
When I die, [my wife] will not get my social security benefits. For heterosexual couples all over the country, when a person dies, their spouse gets their social security benefits. You get a monthly stipend because you’ve been paying into social security all your working life. You then draw off that money after you retire and if you die, it goes to your spouse or your dependent.
However, since the federal government does not recognize our marriage, [my wife] won’t get that. All the money I would have gotten to help support us if I were to grow older just goes back to the government. [My wife] can’t have it.
I contacted attorneys to see if there was anything I could do. They told me that, in the eyes of the federal government, I have no spouse. A few friends suggested that I legally adopt my wife, but the only way I could do that was if she were mentally incompetent. I don’t have any children so when I die my hard-earned money goes back into a government that doesn’t honor our legal California vows. Not only will my wife suffer [the loss of her] life companion, she will suffer financially.
Although some people consider social security benefits to be of minimal help, in this case it could mean the difference of my wife being able to pay her rent. We are not wealthy and, even though we are known regionally as “rock stars,” most of our years together we lived paycheck to paycheck. We did inherit some money after my brother Larry died of ALS, but most of this was spent on pre-paying my cremation, the death certificates, and taking care of other legal matters upon my death.
So once again I emphasize that with DOMA currently in place, the absence of social security benefits will burden [my wife] during her already stressful and sorrowful grief and mourning. Because her immediate and extended families shun her, they certainly will not be helping her emotionally or financially. As more of my family members die of ALS, my wife’s support system will continue to diminish.
We had a well-known duo, Duval Speck, a band, The Essentials, and produced three CDs. We performed all over California for LGBT rights and celebrations, ALS Benefits, and at “mainstream” public events. We never changed a word in any song, which made us vulnerable to “haters.” For example, if the lyrics were: “I fell in love with her, and knew she’d be my wife; I would comfort her for all of her life,” we’d never switch “her” to “him.”
In 2009, the first year and a half after I was diagnosed, we produced, directed and performed in many benefit concert fundraisers for ALS. Sadly, the ALS has now taken away my ability to sing, and my arms and hands hurt and are too weak to play percussion. On Sept 25, 2010 we put on a hugely successful concert for ALS. That was the last time either of us performed.
My wife, is also my caregiver. Doing her job, the tasks that I can’t do anymore, putting me to bed, cooking and monitoring how I eat, and making sure I can breathe, doesn’t leave much time for making music. If you have ever heard her play guitar and sing, you’d agree that she is uniquely wonderful. This is such a horrible loss for her and our friends and fans.
I have to sleep with special equipment to deliver oxygen now, and my energy continues to decline. My degree of fatigue determines what I can accomplish each day. Nothing, and if you could see my face right now, you’d know I mean nothing will dampen my spirit. And, I hold onto hope that if I live long enough, maybe the laws will change and the federal government will recognize our marriage. That keeps me getting out of bed in the morning, striving for LGBT equal rights, and continuing to raise funds to find a cause and cure for ALS.
.….if you want a real-life example of why DOMA is unjust, I’m right here–a 51-year-old woman dying from ALS (a disease our society tends to hide) and my wife, 53, with still plenty of life to live. I’m the “poster child” for “Repeal DOMA” and “Defeat ALS.” Some people in our great country don’t think we’re as good as they are, and don’t think we deserve the same rights. Well, we are as “good as they are” and we do deserve the same marriage rights. Go ahead and plaster my story on every wall and every screen.
I’m not dead yet. Even the terminally crippling disease of ALS won’t stop me as I strive to open hearts and eyes, so that all may live with love and equality.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
The US faces an HPV epidemic, yet there is still little known about the virus. A Florida-based grassroots organization, HPV Awakening, is fighting to expand research about the virus to provide resources for treatment and prevention. Public awareness is in desperate need of an energy boost.
HPV is the most prevalent and rapidly spreading STI in the USA according to a February 2013 report (PDF) by the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention). Based on the most recent data on STIs in 2008, the report finds approximately 80 million Americans are infected with some form of HPV- which makes up 71% of all STI infections in the country. And it is spreading fast, as most people with HPV do not know they are infected. Fourteen million will become newly infected this year. This means that almost every sexually active person in the US (regardless of sexual orientation, number of partners, age, income, etc.) will acquire HPV at some point in their lives. In other words, we are officially in an HPV crisis.
Sounds pretty serious, eh? In most cases, HPV will go away by itself before it causes any health problems- particularly in young people. The problem is that there are many variations and strains of HPV- 40 of which are related to cancer- and there remains much unknown medically about the virus and how to detect it.
For example, there is no certain way to tell who will develop health problems from HPV and who will not. For men, there is currently no FDA-approved HPV test, which means that men who have clear STI screenings with negative results should not consider themselves HPV-free or at zero-risk. The only form of testing a male can have is through an anal pap smear (used to check for anal cancer), and only if he has been the recipient of anal sex, not directly as a method to check for HPV. For women, there are test to directly detect the virus, but they are not mandatory- you still have to specifically ask for them, despite how prevalent HPV is in the USA. In 2009, the FDA approved DNA testing for HPV yet blood donations and samples are not screened.
What is HPV? Human Papillomavirus is an infection of the skin and mucous membranes. There are over 100 strains of HPV of which 40 are identified as sexually transmitted infections. It is often called “genital warts”, because when a strain causes warts (not all do) and symptoms are visible it appears as tiny cauliflower-like clusters on the genitals. These HPV types can also infect the mouth and throat. Other strains are cancerous and some are a direct cause of cervical, anal, and oral cancer. On average, about 15,000 women get diagnosed yearly with cervical cancer and about 80% of these cases are cause by HPV.
In most cases, HPV shows no symptoms yet remains highly contagious, and unfortunately, condoms do not offer 100% protection. However, they are by far safer than going without protection. It is generally stated by health organizations that condoms provide approximately 70% protection against HPV.
How does it spread? Penetrative sex or exposure to bodily fluids, like semen, is not needed to contract HPV. It is transmittable by skin-to-skin contact during oral, vaginal, anal, and manual sex. It is most commonly transmitted from direct genital-to-genital contact (touching two sets of genitals together without a protective barrier). Some strains can be transmitted from kissing.
The CDC recently reported that HPV is contactable from mother to child through vaginal birth. Yet there is still much unknown about the virus. For example, the only studies released for HPV cases in children are from oral cancer cases. As the non-profit organization, HPV Awakening points out, no information has been released about whether or not children are being examined for anal, cervical or other cancers caused by HPV.
How is it diagnosed? HPV is detected from examination of warts and from tissue samples taken during a gynecological or urological exam. For women, a PAP smear does not test for the virus itself, but may detect precancerous condition that are caused by HPV. There are DNA tests that can be done with or without a PAP smear. These tests can determine if the type of HPV is a high-risk stain. For men, there is currently no FDA-approved HPV test, which means that men who have clear STI screenings with negative results should not consider themselves HPV-free or at zero-risk.
Is it curable or treatable? No. Warts can be removed. However, the virus may still remain in the body and can be transmitted to partners, and/or cause long-term health problems like cervical cancer.
Unfortunately, neither public awareness nor medical understanding of HPV matches these severely high statistics. Few people, both teens and adults, think about how a condom is only 70% effective against the virus or that a clear STI screening does not indicate that they are HPV-free. Blood banks do not screen for HPV.
And HPV is considered a “none-reportable” STI. This means that the US government and the CDC do not feel that individuals have a legal obligation to be informed by a partner that they have had a history of or currently have an “active” case of HPV.
Yet rather than acknowledging our unfamiliarity and unawareness of HPV we, the general public, continue to reinforce great social stigma with being diagnosed with an STI. And thus, the ignorance continues. This is precisely why the non-profit group HPV Awakening exists: to educate the general public and push for more investment in medical research.
HPV Awakening Inc.: was founded by Tashia Ameneiro shortly after she was diagnosed with HPV at 25 years old. She contracted the virus from her first sexual partner who had known he was a carrier but did not tell her. It wasn’t long after that Tashia found herself trying to coop with a severe lack of public resources compounded with social stigma for being diagnosed with an STI. The impact of being diagnosed led her and her friends (Virginia Pena and Yvette Rodriguez) to launch HPV Awakening- A nonprofit to counteract social stigma through public education.
The Miami-based organization is the first established non-profit in North America to address general HPV that is not limited to one cancer form or another caused by HPV. They run workshops, lectures, and info booths at universities, schools and community events to raise public awareness about HPV and how to protect one self. They have partnered with major community-based organizations, such as the Village South/WestCare – Project IMPACT, hosting the First Cervical Cancer Day at FIU in January 2013 to provide a wide range of free health information to the public. HPV Awakening has also partnered with several student organizations such as VOX, WSSA (Women’s Studies Student Association), The Vagina Monologues, and One Billion Rising.
Along with improving public awareness, HPV Awakening is also putting pressure on the FDA and greater medical science community. They are pushing to make HPV caner strands “reportable” and get HPV male testing approved. They are also trying to expand medical and social research about the virus and the impact it has not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.
They need your support: As with all social causes, people’s support is essential to their survival. HPV Awakening functions through the hard work of just Tashia, her mother, and a few friends. They currently have no funding or sponsorship. All the things they have managed thus far have been done through their own pockets and free-time. They need support from everyone and have set up a donation bank on their website.
They desperately need funding for basic things like printing information pamphlets, free condoms to distribute, website management and sponsorship to attend relevant events like Gay Pride Fest- Miami Beach, AFO, and Exxxotica Expo.
They welcome any support. This includes actions as simple as sharing their facebook page or more involved help such as volunteering at their events and donating money to help them stay afloat.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
LGBTQ 003. In this entry of our LGBTQ-Logue Initiative, posting mementos of sexual justice issues, we share narratives from participants in a study about the gender-based violence that police regularly commit against LGBTQ and gender nonconforming people.
In response to the rise of complaints about hate violence and police abuse against LGBTQ people in Jackson Heights, especially among people of color, the community-based organization Make the Road NY (MRNY) and the Anti-Violence Project (AVP) conducted a preliminary study to ascertain the extent of the problems with police. Between 2011 and 2012, MRNY and AVP collected over 300 surveys with LGBTQ and gender nonconforming people in Jackson Heights. Interviews were conducted by outreach workers and volunteers through street, bar, and nightclub outreach, as well as within support groups and community meetings.
They found that LGBTQ, and transgender respondents in particular, reported higher rates of police stops compared to non-LBGTQ respondents. Transgender residents of color were the most likely to experience police harassment and physical abuse when stopped. 46% of transgender respondents reported some form of physical abuse from police compared to 28% of non-LGBTQ respondents. Narrative evidence obtained through interviews reveals the kind of physical harassment experienced such as handling, pushing, shoving and sexual harassment.
These are not just selective, one-off narrative accounts. On the contrary, they are shared because they reflect general tends respondents experience with the NYPD in Queens.
Carolina describes being intrusively searched by police:
About 2 years ago something terrible happened when I was out in Jackson Heights. My girlfriend and I were on our way to a club when the police stopped us. It was about midnight. The police stopped us and asked for our IDs. My girlfriend had hers but I didn’t have mine with me at the time. At that moment the police started to frisk me and search my pants. Because I dress very masculine they started telling me to ‘shut up you fucking dyke.’ They started to feel my breasts and search in that area (they were male cops and they’re not suppose to do that). They then proceeded to put me against the wall and told me to spread my legs. They searched me between my legs like I was a criminal. I told them that I didn’t consent to their search. But they said that they were ‘the authority’ and that they could do ‘whatever the fuck they wanted’ with me. I felt humiliated because I knew that even if I said something no one would believe me. Also, because of my immigration status I was afraid to say anything and get deported.- Lesbian woman, Jackson Heights (MRNY 2012, pg. 20)
Another interviewee, Juan, reported being drag by her hair down the block.
I was walking down the street with my partner on 34th Avenue and a police car pulled over and told us to get near the car. When the police officer saw that I was dressed as a woman he pulled my wig, held my hair and dragged me down 34th Avenue for 1 or 2 blocks. – Gay Latino man who cross dresses at night, Queens (Ibid: pg. 20).
Other narratives reflect violence committed by police and the unjust treatment carried out while in custody.
I was getting out of a club and heading to a friend’s house in a cab. When I got to her apartment, I found that the police were stopping her and asking her to produce ID. They were talking to her in English. I intervened and told the officers that she didn’t speak English and that her ID was in her apartment, which we were in front of. I told them that I could get her ID from her apartment. The officers told me to shut up and arrested both me and my friend. The police used a lot of force while arresting us and said some homophobic and transphobic remarks in the process. They put us in the back of their car and started laughing at us with other police officers who were also there. I asked one of the officers to please open the window a bit more because we were out of breath, to which he responded by pepper spraying my directly in my face and mouth. Since we were trapped in the back of the car, the pepper spray also started asphyxiating my friend. I started kicking the car door and asking them to please let us out. They opened the door and dragged me out of the car and started beating me up outside the car, while using transphobic and homophobic remarks. It was a very confusing, demeaning and unjust experience, I ended up being in jail for two days without representation and was intensely harassed by officers while I was in custody.- Transgender Latina woman, Queens (Ibid: pg. 18).
Part of that harassment involves arbitrary stops on suspicion of prostitution, which takes place in the form of a charge of “loitering for the purpose of prostitution”- a misdemeanor that allows for broad officer discretion. The profiling of transgender women as sex workers is so common that there is a term for it: “walking while trans”.
Arrests can be made on the basis of how tight one’s clothing is and how many condoms are on the person, which will be used as evidence in court. If convicted for prostitution, the person will lose social benefits like food stamps and subsidized housing. As a result, transgender women are especially fearful that any condom in their possession will be used as evidence against them.
The survey participants commonly reported stops that seemed to be without basis but in which the police officers later justified the stop by charging the person with prostitution because condoms were found on their person.
Cristina explained how the police did not believe that her boyfriend was not a patron and the officers confiscated three condoms off of her.
One night I was with my boyfriend at a club in Jackson Heights, Queens. At around 4am we left the club together and walked home. We were walking next to each other. At one point an undercover police van stopped next to us. Eight undercover cops got out from the van and some of them threw me against the wall. While they were handcuffing me, my boyfriend was also through to the wall and they frisked him. They told me I was being arrested for sex work. I told them that I was not doing anything like that. After they frisked my boyfriend, they frisked me and found three condoms, after seeing the condoms they asked if I was sure that I was not working. I told them that I was with my boyfriend and they said that he was not my boyfriend. I told one of the female cops to help me and that I was not doing anything wrong. She said that she couldn’t help me out. My boyfriend came to the 110th Precinct where I was held and spoke to the captain; he tried to explain that I was his girlfriend and that I was with him. But the captain said that he couldn’t do anything. I was taken to court and was accused of sex work.– Transgender woman, Jackson Heights (Ibid: pg 21).
Another interviewee describes being jumped by undercover cops and experiencing repetitive humiliation and harassment while in custody:
Last week, I went out dancing at a small night club on Roosevelt Avenue. After having a good time and feeling ready to go home, I contacted my friends so that we could meet at a small taqueria before we all headed home. Meeting up at the taqueria after a night out is routine for us because the tacos are really good, and it’s also the only way we know that our circle of friends is safe.
While on my way to the taqueria, I was approached by a dark colored car driven by a middle-aged male. As the male pulled alongside me, he said something I couldn’t hear properly. As I did not hear what the male was saying, I inched a little closer to his vehicle and he repeated, ‘Why are you so beautiful and yet alone?’ Before I knew it, two undercover officers jumped out of a van that was parked along the street and told me that I was under arrest. When I asked the officer’s why they are arresting me, they told that I was ‘engaging in prostitution’.
They cuffed me and the officers questioned me further, took my purse away from me and placed me into the unmarked van. Although I had nothing on me and did nothing wrong, they still took me, transferred me into another police van filled with about a dozen trans-women and then took us all down to the 115th Precinct where we were fingerprinted, written up and later transferred to the central booking. My experience in the holding cell at central booking was terrible. I was humiliated inside of the holding cell by the guards and the men who occupied the cell with me. The guards would not all me anything other than bread and water to eat and I was not allowed to use the toilet when I needed to go. Tears streamed down my face as for the first time I was encountering the daily harassment that transwomen face for just walking home.-Transgender Latina woman, Queens (Ibid: pg. 17).
And it doesn’t just happen at night after clubbing. It also happens while doing routine daily activities such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. Here is just one testimony of many from the MRNY study.
I am transgender. I was walking to the store near my house on Roosevelt Avenue when two cops stopped and arrested me. When I asked why I was being arrested, they replied, ‘Because you are pretty.’ They charged me with loitering for prostitution when I was only walking down the street.- Transgender Latina woman, Queens (Ibid: pg. 17)
This profiling and abuse has been documented extensively across the US by Amnesty International (2005), the PROS Network (2011) and Human Rights Watch (2012), to name a few. All studies conclude that there needs to be more done within the legal system and law enforcement culture to address homophobic and transphobic attitudes and discriminatory policing against LBGTQ people. Suggestions include LGBTQ liaison units to police forces and integrating LGBTQ issues into officer education and professional development.
There is also a bill to end the use of condoms as evidence of sex work. Since 1999, a coalition of people in the sex trades, allies, and community-based organizations have been working to pass the No Condoms As Evidence bill into law in NY state. In 2012, a report by the PROS Network and Sex Worker Project revealed how the use of condoms as evidence of prostitution is creating a public health crisis because it is deterring targeted populations from carrying condoms. This is “deeply concerning”, writes Emma Caterine of the Red Umbrella Project, as people in the sex trade and gender nonconforming people are often most at risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections. “To combat this violence and promote safer sex, we must stop the use of condoms as evidence by both police and prosecutors (RH Reality Check, 2013).”
On April 23rd, 2013, Red Umbrella Project will be lobbying in Albany, NY to get the No Condoms as Evidence bill passed by representatives. For more information on this bill and how you can get involved, check out their website.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
LGBTQ-Logue 002. “So, are you dating anyone.”
“Nope.” I shamelessly replied.
“Well that’s not good.” my bishop said.
“I don’t want to date anyone.”
Then my bishop looked at me, “Do you experience feelings of same-gender attraction?” What?! All I said is I don’t want to date anyone, how does he…? ‘This is real. Oh gosh, this is very real.’ I paused a good while. I looked at my bishop and in a weak voice replied, “Yeah.” I had never wanted to die more than that moment. Finally realizing the fact. Affirming the fact. Loathing the fact. Breaking through the denial was almost more than I could take. A few words were exchanged and then my bishop looked at me and with genuine empathy said, “That sucks.” – A Gay Mormon Coming Out, Jimmy Hales
Coming out can be a big event- or not. It is a process that’s as individual as you are. And so are the ways of remembering and expressing what coming out is like. Jimmy Hales (blogger and student at the Mormon university BYU) decided to “come out” publicly through video. And a very entertaining video indeed.
Over the course of a year, Jimmy recorded the reactions of his “coming out” to his sister, mother and friends. Many of them don’t believe him at first. Some say they’ve had their suspicions. Overall, it’s an upbeat and chipper mini-doc. And it works to address some fears and misconceptions about coming out and about homosexuality. On his blog, Jimmy explains that he wanted to show others (gay or not) that a Mormon “coming out” isn’t that bad. It can be positive. He also explains how the Church excludes non-heterosexuals by not addressing what is expected of a gay member of the church. Do the rules of celibacy apply to gays? He had to search long and hard and alone for answers.
We thought this was an important memento to share for #2 of the LGBT-Logue Series because there are virtually no representations of -and by- openly gay young Mormons. Do enjoy.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
“The archives of lesbian culture…created four years after Stonewall, owes, at least for my part, it’s creation to that night and the courage that found its voice in the streets. That night, in some very deep way, we finally found our place in history. Not as a dirty joke, not as a doctor’s case study, not as a freak- but as a people.” – Joan Nestle, Co-founder of Lesbian Herstory Archives (Remembering Stonewall, aired 1989 on PBS Radio).
For some, modern history is indexed by the pre-Stonewall and post-Stonewall eras. The 1969 Stonewall Upraising is marked as the first time the LGBTQ community resisted routine police raids and arrests at a time when it was illegal for queers to congregate in public.
All great movements require catalyst- whether it’s premeditated or unplanned- a bandwagon that cements conviction in the will of those affected by injustice; when people discover they are not alone. What starts a movement will be determined by different (sometimes opposing) perspectives, most of which will never be recorded in popular history. Stonewall is one of those seminal events in which thousands who were involved (directly and indirectly) have never had their experiences recognized in official documentation…until 20 years later. StoryCorps founder David Isay with Michael Scherker produced the first documentary of any medium about the Stonewall uprising.
This radio documentary premiered on NPR’s All Things Considered Weekend Edition in 1989. It records multiple testimonies of the event including drag queens who stood up to police, a police marshal who led the raid, and young activists who founded the Gay Liberation Front on the third night of the Stonewall Riots. You can listen and download the broadcast for free at Sound Portaits.org and read the entire transcript here.
The recording begins with participants describing what it was like to be “gay” in the 1960s, before Stonewall.
JOAN NESTLE, Co-founder of Lesbian Herstory Archives: [T]here was regular weekend harassment, which would consist of the police coming in regularly….[I]n the Sea Colony, we had a back room with a red light. And when that red light went on it meant the police would be arriving in around ten minutes. And so we all had to sit down at our tables, and we would be sitting there almost like school children, and the cops would come in. Now depending on…which cop was on, if it was some that really resented the butch women who were with many times very beautiful women, we knew we were in for it because what would happen is they would start harassing one of these women, and saying, ‘Ha, you think you’re a man? Come outside and we’ll show you.’ And the woman would be dragged away. They’d throw her up against a wall and they’d say, ‘So, you think you’re a man, let’s see what you got in your pants.’ And they would put their hand down her pants.
SEYMOUR PINE, Deputy Inspector of the NYC Public Morals Squad: “[Before Stonewall] you tell [patrons in gay bars] to leave and they leave, and you say show me your identification and they all take out their identification and file out and that’s it. And you say, okay, you’re not a man, you’re a woman, or you’re vice versa and you wait over there. I mean, this was a kind of power that you have and you never gave it a second thought.
SYLVIA RIVERA, Transgender activist: The drag queens took a lot of oppression and we had to…we were at a point where I guess nothing would have stopped us…we were ladies in waiting, just waiting for the thing to happen.
Those who witnessed and participated in the riot recount the electricity felt in the air as eight police officers arrived at the Stonewall Inn at midnight June 27th, 1969. They describe fire, anger, joy, beatings- by police batons and high heels alike.
BIRDY, Protestor: My name is Robert Rivera and my nickname is Birdy, and I’ve been cross-dressing all of my life. I remember the night of the riots, the police were escorting queens out of the bar and into the paddy wagon and there was this one particularly outrageously beautiful queen, with stacks and stacks of…Elizabeth Taylor style hair, and she was asking them not to push her. And they continued to push her, and she turned around and she mashed the cop with her high heel. She knocked him down and then she proceeded to frisk him for the keys to the handcuffs that were on her. She got them and she undid herself and passed them to another queen that was behind her.
RIVERA: I remember someone throwing a Molotov cocktail. I don’t know who the person was, but I mean I saw that and I just said to myself in Spanish…’oh my God, the revolution is finally here!’ And I just like started screaming ‘Freedom! We’re free at last!’ You know. It felt really good!
Remembering Stonewall also offers rare insight and expression of how the revolutionary event impacted across personal lives and politics. For example, Gene Hardwood, who at the time of this recording was in a 60 year partnership with Bruce Merrow, explained,
GENE HARWOOD: When Stonewall happened, Bruce and I were still in the closet, where we had been for nearly forty years. But we realized that this was a tremendous thing that had happened at Stonewall and it gave us a feeling that we were not going to be remaining closeted for very much longer. And soon thereafter, we did come out of the closet.
JINNY APPUZO: …In 1969 I was in the convent. And when Stonewall hit the press, it hit me with a bolt of lightening. It was as if I had an incredible release of my own outrage at having to sequester so much of my life. I made my way down, I seem to recall in subsequent nights being down on the, you know, kind of just on the periphery looking. An observer — clearly an observer. Clearly longing to have that courage to come out. And as I recall it was only a matter of weeks before I left the convent and started a new life.
PINE: For those of us in Public Morals [police division], after the Stonewall incident things were completely changed from what they had previously been. They suddenly were not submissive anymore. They now suddenly had gained a new type of courage. And it seemed as if they didn’t care anymore about whether their identities were made known.
We were now dealing with human beings.
As shown by Stonewall and earlier campaigns against police raids and entrapment, NYC has a fraught history of with the LGBTQ communities. While great gains have been made, LGBTQ people, and particularly LGBTQ people of color, continue to be targets of police profiling and abuse. This includes profiling transgender women as sex workers, “gender checks”, physical and sexual abuse, and detention of transgender people under dangerous conditions. Check out LGBTQ-logue 003 for narrative accounts of LGBTQ interactions with the NYPD in present-day Jackson Heights, Queens.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
Condom Monologues is thrilled to announce that our Condom Size Chart is up-to-date! This is our most popular post so we think it crucial to keep it spick and span. It includes objective measurements researched by CM’s staff of all the latest condom products from North America’s top three brands: Trojan, Durex and LifeStyles. And we provide links to other works at CM depending on how in-depth you want to know your condom before using.
This is not a company endorsement. We do not cater support for one condom company over another. Instead we offer this as a map to help guide through the frustrating aisle of condoms where each product self-proclaims to be the “Thinnest”, “Most Sensitive”, “Ultra Pleasure” out there. We hope this size chart continues to help find suitable condoms and experience new pleasures.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
The reason so many guys ask, What Condom Size Am I? is because condom sizing and how to measure ourselves is not very clear. There is no such thing as one-size fits every individual or couple.
And yet using the right condom is essential. The wrong size increases the risk of breakage, slippage and discomfort. Experimenting and finding the correct condom is the difference between those who enjoy sex with condoms and those who hate them and use them inconsistently, putting themselves and others at risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancy.
Published with permission from thebadchemicals.com
What Condom Size Am I?
The first thing you need to do is measure the size of your penis. This isn’t hard (but your penis must be to get correct measurements!). There are three main measurements you need to take. First, from the base of your penis which is the part where the condom would stop rolling (no need to put the condom over your testicles!) and measure up to the tip of your penis….This is your length.
Then measure the girth of your penis at the mid-point of the shaft. You can wrap a tape measure around the shaft or you can use a string and then measure the string with a ruler.
Most condom widths are measured by the condom laying flat (it is not the circumference). Condoms are designed to fit securely while forming the body shape. The base width should be less than half the girth of your penis size by about half an inch (13mm). Therefore to know if your girth will fit a condom width simply divide your penis circumference by 2.25 (In this post we explain how we got this formula).
(Most links are internal links to our site. External links to condoms may be affiliate links that earn us a small commission. This is not a company endorsement).
What Sizes Exist?
Now you have the measurements you can go over to our Condom Size Calculator. There you will find measurements for each condom brand and be able to find your size and compare what exactly “Snug” “Regular” and “Large” mean. We also offer updated size charts based on the top sold brands: Trojan Condom, Lifestyles, Durex, Kimono, ONE Condoms and Caution Wear. More brands to come!
The average condom length in North America…
is 7.5″/190.5mm. Since a vast portion of men are between 5.1″ – 6.5″, most do not need to be concern with length. If length is your concern, check out our condom fitting solutions chart for recommendations to specific needs.
Girth or “thickness” is crucial. The average condom is made to fit a 4.8″- 5.2″ erect circumference. In condom terms, that equals approximately 2.0″/50.8mm-2.2″/55.8mm base wide (remember, width is measured by the condom lying flat).
General, rule of thumb: If you measure less than 4.8 inches girth, go with a snugger fit. Fit you are greater than 5.2 inches, select large condoms, such as SKYN Large, Durex XXL, and Magnums.
Shape Matters
However, this does not solve all problems. What if you are skinny and long, short and wide? You will also need to think about shape and material (latex, polyisoprene, etc.), especially if you find you’re in between sizes.
A common complaint is that condoms are too tight around the head. So, many condoms companies have now designed condoms with oversized head room, including flair shape design and extra bulbous head. Here are the top North American brands:
There are two new non-latex options available now. Polyurethane was first introduced by Durex in the 1990s. This material is less elastic than latex and polyisoprene, and is slightly thinner. So it can be ideal for those who prefer less skin-tight condoms that clings to every contour of his tool, and instead prefer a bit of give in the condom.
The most popular polyurethane condom in North America is Trojan Supra.
Polyisoprene is the latest non-latex material for male condoms, introduced by Lifestyles in 2008. This material is more soft, elastic and form-fitting than both polyurethane and latex. This material is ideal because it can stretch more comfortably over shapely parts of the penis. So this may be a better option if you are in between sizes then the uniquely shaped condoms. Polyisoprene is available in North America by Durex Avanti Bare and Lifestyles SKYN.
Practice Makes Perfect!
The best thing to do is keep experimenting to find the best condoms for you (and your partners).
Just make sure you don’t engage in oral or penetrative sex if a condom does not fit! So, firstly, answer the question “What Condom Size Am I?” for yourself and then check against the size charts and get a hold of your best fit.
Let us know if you have any questions at all and we will always do our best to fully answer them. Don’t be embarrassed. Use a fake name if you really need to. We will never judge you for your questions.
Thanks for reading and we hope this article helped.
If you enjoyed the article “What Condom Size Am I?” Join us on Facebook or Twitter @CondomMonologue for more.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
We are celebrating Valentine’s Day 2013 by acknowledging some of the most lavish, smart, and intriguing safer sex resources out there and giving them our thank yous for their hard work.
For safer sex guidelines we applaud and recommend you check out the following…
Planned Parenthood: A non-profit health organization that offers reproductive health care and advice on contraception, safe sex, and family planning. They’ve been around since 1939 and in many cases are the only place where one can access birth control, STD/STI testing, sex education, couples counseling, etc.
The Body: A medically-based HIV/AIDS resource in the US which provides information on everything one needs to know about HIV/AIDS, including advice on prevention, HIV testing, treatment, safely navigating a mixed-status relationship, HIV/AIDS policy and activism, and the latest research on HIV/AIDS and other STDs. This humongous site offers everything from Blogs, podcasts, bulletin boards, “Ask the Experts” forum, first-person stories and interviews, conferences and news coverage, and library resources.
SEX ETC: Who better to understand high school sex politics than the peers who are living and experiencing it themselves. The blog, magazine, and stories on this site are written by and for teens and young adults across North America. It provides different media to engage with sexual health info, such as videos about safe sex, forums where teens can participate and moderate discussions with other teens, a 400 words sex glossary, a state-by-state reference to info on birth control, health care access and your rights to sex education in “Sex in the States” guide, and a range of surveys and guides to sex ed activism.
Scarleteen: A progressive sex-ed site written for teens who are female, male, genderqueer; gay, straight or somewhere in between. It provides over 200 articles about sex, health, and relationships, covering everything from STIs to sexual orientation, body image, self-esteem, to birth control, masturbation, misogyny, sexual abuse, and technical advice from French kissing to BDSM. The site also provides interactive question-answer-discuss services, including their new live help feature providing safe, anonymous live chats with Scarleteen’s staff and volunteers.
SEX-ED LOOP: Another great resource for teens, based in Chicago, that gives up to date information on sexual health, rights, and identity through a range of social media channels including a weekly text messaging service and clinic finder that will identify health care services throughout Chicago. Also provides helpful articles about gender identity and sexual orientation.
HIV InSite:A non-commercial, well-established source developed by the Center for HIV Information at the University of California San Francisco. The site offers an extensive collection of original material including a complete textbook about the clinical management of HIV/AIDS. It is also a great resource for global HIV/AIDS research, statistics, and policy analysis.
Our Bodies Ourselves: A global non-profit that promotes evidence-based information on girls’ and women’s health. The information provided on the site is vast and includes excerpts from their famous book on reproductive health, as well as first-person blog stories that range from topics like body image, nutrition, menstruation, pregnancy and much more.
Well, that’s a handful of some of our favorite safer sex resources from sound sexual health organizations. Do you have any resources to share? Please let us know in the comments below!
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
A site about condoms and condom stories is never complete, and neither is the lavish, outlandish history of the device. It’s history is full of insights into human character with all its flaws and foibles.
The invention of the latex condom is relatively new in modern history. However, the principle to protect against sexually transmitted diseases and infections (STIs) dates back to at least 1,000BC (Perera, 2004: 95). Ancient Egyptians were protecting themselves with linen sheaths from a parasitic disease known as Schistosomiasis. Anthropologists have also found evidence of female condoms to prevent pregnancy. The Petri Papyrus of 1850BC lists several female condoms, one of which was crocodile’s dung cut up on auyt-paste and inserted into the vagina. In fact, animal dung was used as a female contraceptive across many societies. The Aztec Badianus manuscript of 1552 explains, “and you shall put into the vulva the crushed herb of the calabash or cucurbita root and eagle’s excrement.” Dung stuffed linen aside, the one devise that could protect against both STDs and pregnancy wasn’t produced until 1855 during the industrial revolution and the advent of vulcanized rubber.
Of course, when safer sex first became a known practice in ancient societies, the scientific frameworks for understanding biology, medicine, sexuality, and public health were vastly different. Hippocrates, the father of western medicine once stated, “After coitus if the woman ought not to conceive, she makes it a custom for the semen to fall outside when she wishes this” (R.I.Chalmers, 1987)… pause … blink … isn’t this reminiscent of the 2012 Teaparty Candidate Todd Akin’s infamous statement that women’s bodies can prevent pregnancy in cases of “legitimate rape”?
Anyway, I’m not stating that the risks of unwanted pregnancies and transmitting or contracting STIs is significantly less in contemporary life because we may have greater public awareness and better medical technology. Rather it’s to recognize that health science and perceptions of “risks” and “healthy” sexuality are products of social contexts- its history and location, politics and economics- and therefore have a transformable quality. That’s what makes the story of the condom throughout human civilization so interesting; because, like a flirtatious cuttlefish, it morphs into so many different types, shapes, and sizes, not to mention the amount of knowledge, myth and stigma that have carried throughout its making.
Contraceptive Censorship
Just to mention a few effects of stigma: In 1873, the U.S. government illegalized the advertisement of any contraception. That same set of laws also allowed for the confiscation of condoms sent through the mail and banned the sale of any condoms in up to thirty states (Collier, 2007). Due to the belief that venereal disease was the price one paid for sinful choices, health experts from The American Social Hygiene Association objected to American soldiers being issued condoms- so during WWI they weren’t (Perera, 2004).
So what preceded the latex condom? As the most basic device for safe sex, different versions of the barrier method were utilized in most societies for millennium, and thus it is near impossible to account for all sexual practices, customs, beliefs, and attitudes. Here we take a glimpse into some western society habits in which the devise was made at the expense of sexual pleasure; almost all made with only hetero-male health and interests in mind; and certainly most practices kept in secrecy from public mind and records.
Medieval to Victorian, Dung to Intestine
The first western medical record of the condom is found in Gabriello Falloppio’s book on syphilis published in 1564 when the STD was a European epidemic. He details condoms that he made from linen sheaths dipped in salt and herbs and tied under the foreskin. Nothing in his records test comfort or sexual satisfaction, but we do know that animal intestines eventually became the superior condom material.
Users tended to hail from higher-income strata as condom were expensive and available only in boutique shops in the cities where seamstresses handmade each baudruches. Louis XVI could afford to have his animal-bowel condoms lined with velvet and silk. There were some available for those with less income if one was willing to buy second-hand. As Shyama Perera’s explains in her book Taking Precautions: An intimate history of birth control (2004), there was a “Miss Jenny” in 1820s London who hand-washed used condoms and resold them at a more affordable price.
The Rise of Rubber
By the 1850s, vulcanized rubber was invented and condoms started to roll out of factories. The process was labor intensive as each rubber condom was dipped in cement and then hand-shaped and smoothed by rubbing and trimming. It was also a major fire hazard because gasoline and benzene were used to suspend the rubber. Rubber condoms were reusable and had a shelf life of about 3 months making them more economical, but the “skin” condoms remained the preferred product for better comfort and sensitivity (keep in mind, lubricant wasn’t invented until 1957. Ouch!). Also, at this time, there were no standard quality control methods. According to condom historian, Aine Collier, some American factories sold their defective condoms at a cheaper price rather than discard them.
Another outcome of the Industrial Revolution was the beginning shifts of condoms away from a sign of wealth towards health. By WWI, the use of condoms was more prominent among European soldiers as the rate of STDs increased. Armed forces would distribute them for free to its members even in countries where condoms were illegal for the general population (the U.S. military did not catch on to condom sense until WWII).
Introducing Trojan Latex
In 1920, Young Rubber Company, the makers of Trojan, was the first to manufacture a latex condom, which was a great improvement from the rubber condom because they were easier and far less of a fire hazard to produce. Latex is also thinner, smoother, and stronger with longer lasting shelf life then rubber. By 1932, Europe’s first latex condom, Durex, was manufactured on conveyor system assembly lines, making them far less labor intensive nor subject to human error.
Marie Stopes’s first health clinic in London did make condoms readily available and was the only outlet from which women could buy them. However, the clinic encouraged women to use female contraceptive techniques, such as the cervical cap, rather than rely on protection made for men.
Quality Control
Stigma around the use of contraceptives continued and disinformation meant that not everyone trusted condoms. Of course, the lack of quality control specifications didn’t help. Perera (2004) documents rumors stating that Catholic factory staff would deliberately poke holes in condoms. The introduction of electronic testing machines helped eradicate rumors. By 1957, the manufacturing process advanced to dramatically reduce the amount of defective rubber and latex, and also allow the first lubricated condom on the market. It wasn’t until the 1960s that most countries in Europe and North America established a certification of national standard specifications for condoms manufacturers to follow.
What were once common problems of slippage and breakage are virtually obsolete with contemporary production. Today, different studies on latex condom breakage tend to reflect a breakage rate of around .4%, or only 4 breaks in every 1,000 uses. Which means that if a condom breaks than it is highly likely caused by user-error rather than manufacturer issues.
The Discovery of AIDS and Height of Condom Use
With industrialization, condoms increasingly became relied upon. Yet it wasn’t until the 1980s and 90s when HIV/AIDS was first declared a pandemic, that condoms became fervently promoted by governments and health organizations. Within the first year of the UK campaign, condom sales increase by 20%. 1988 was the first time in condom history in which condoms were the most popular birth control choice for British married couples. In the U.S., condoms ranked third in popularity among married couples, and a strong second among single women following the Pill.
The Femidom
It was during the time of the first HIV/AIDS crisis that the female condom was manufactured on a large scale despite many experts’ false and damaging advice that women were at “low risk” of contracting HIV. The Femidom, or FC2, is far more advanced than lemon halves used by ancients and cervical caps promoted in the 1920, which do not protect against STDs/STIs. The FC2 is a device made of polyurethane that is inserted into the vagina with a wide base that sits on the outer parts of the vulva. Besides allowing females to be in control of condom use, another advantage of the FC2, is that it can be inserted for up to 8 hours before sex- so no intermission needed for application.
Contemporary Condom Conundrum
The twenty-first century condom is produced by a greater range of manufacturers, non-profit organizations, and government programs around the world. Thanks to modern technological innovation, condoms are far more comfortable, safer, stronger, and smoother then Greek goat’s bladders or oiled silk paper. Who knows what the next advancement will be. There are reports of spray-on condoms in the midst.
The promotion and availability of condoms has also dramatically improved. Nowadays, condoms are typically displayed in public restrooms, supermarkets and pharmacies, or bought in bulk online without age restriction or parental consent required. And they are affordable enough to not need rinsing and re-using!
Condoms have reached a status of “common sense” for many. An American-based 2010 study by the Alan Guttmacher Institute found that the condom is the most common protection used at first intercourse (females 68% and males 80%).
However, the same study found that as individuals continue to have sex, their use of condoms decreases as they get older. The rate of STDs/STIs is extremely high among American youth: One in two sexually active individuals will get a STD usually before the age of 25. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, two-thirds of all individuals who become infected with STIs in the United States are younger than 25 years old! The reason for this is because young people simply are not using condoms and other barriers consistently or correctly to protect themselves and their partners.
Want to see a visual account of condom history? Here is a mini-documentary (7:47min.) by Trojan to commemorate Condom Month (February, of course), and posted by Queerty Online Mag.
…So the condom campaign continues. History never ends. For a more on problems with condom use, read here about the case to include more condoms in everyday popular culture.
This site contains affiliate links. When you purchase products through these links, we may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support our work in providing comprehensive sexual health information. We carefully select our affiliate partners and only recommend products we believe will be valuable to our readers. While we may receive compensation for purchases made through these links, this does not influence our reviews or recommendations. All opinions expressed are our own.
I can’t imagine it’s easy being a French town at the best of times, without having the daily struggle and ridicule of being known as ‘Condom’. All the other towns must point and laugh, and let’s be fair, they have every reason to. I mean, naming a town ‘Condom’, it’s just not fair. Would you name your baby ‘Coil’? Or your new dog ‘The Pill’? Even as middle names, contraceptives rarely work. That said, ‘Sheath’ seems to be a fairly well accepted surname.
